Well, things are finally winding down here for the night. We had two Christmas celebrations about 150 miles apart tonight and everything has been brought home and put in its place..... Too bad my family can't do the same thing, you see we drove 2 hours and 30 minutes to my parents and when we got in the driveway we realized that we had forgot the gifts!! What!?!?! Yep, left them right by the door as we rushed out to not be late. Which we were not! We even beat my brother and his kids and live 25 minutes away. But no gifts...... oh well, we did remember all the kids.
Now the gear for Santa to pop in and bring gifts. We are all waiting to see when the kids are up in the morning. They have been given instruction to play quiely in their room till daylight. I forecast it being in the dark which makes it crazy for me to be here at this hour. I have breakfast ready and in the oven just waiting to be baked. Dinner is prepped and I am already planning a nap, we'll see if I get it.
I am finally feeling a bit better, a new specialist and a new diagnosis. Chronic Reflux! oh that and a strained back. The 2 are not together, so in time and with meds I will feel better..... Thank you God!
We have been so blessed once again this year, we have so many blessings. Sometimes it is hard to see the blessings but each step God sends us on is a planned path. It easily brings me to tears to think of that night so long ago in a stable where Mary gave birth to a child, a tiny child sent to save the world. I can only imagine how she felt looking into her sweet baby's face.
Merry Christmas!
Friday, December 25, 2009
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Only at our house....................
We often fondly refer to our house as "the zoo". Last night was just another example of that. Courtney had come home from school, the long awaited visit. We were all so excited to see her and spend time with her. When she is at school we miss her terribly. SO...... we decided to start our visit with a movie. I had heard he Jonathan Sperry was a good family movie and with all the ages we have that seemed great. On top of that we got to see i at the Danbarry Dollar Saver. 1.75 per seat! They also have an all you can eat deal on the horrible/yummy for you popcorn and pop. I packed our movie bag complete with containers and covered drinks for the little kids. So we hopped in the car and took off. As we left Taylor said he didn't feel well. I didn't think much about it, all the running around and excitement of seeing Courtney probably.
We met Tim at the theater and bought our tickets. Then I got into line for popcorn and drinks. As I stood there Tim and then Taylor ran to the bathroom. Then Logan said he needed to go also. So I waited for the food and realized something was making my sock wet?!!? I looked down and realized that my bag was dripping!..... yep right into my shoe. I "sneek" in the boys cups with juice Well, that started to make me giggle, just as I started to tell Courtney about it Logan came running from the bathroom loudly proclaiming that Taylor was throwing up in the bathroom....great. But I thought Tim was helping, a few minutes later Taylor came from the bathroom telling us that he felt much better. Then Tim came out telling me "Can you believe that some kid is in the bathroom throwing up?"
Off we went to the theater to sit down, I looked down into the bag to see a puddle. This bag is also my purse so I was a bit concerned what may be floating in my purse but decided at that point it was too late. Throughout the movie Kendall was not her normal self. She ate popcorn for the first 20 minutes then she popped from lap to lap disturbing everyone in the row behind us. She needed more drink so I got up left and filled her glass with water from the drinking fountain. Then Taylor said he needed to use the bathroom so Tim hoped up and took him. While he was gone I think Kendall got the same idea. So as soon as Tim and Taylor got back Kendall started to loudly proclaim she needed to pee she needed to poop. Now I have never gotten that request, ever from her so I figured that she really didn't need to go. She just wanted to get up and move so I tried to talk her out of it. Well, not happening!!! She just got louder and louder so for what seemed like the 50th time I stood up and headed out of the aisle. When we got into the bright shiny (germy) bathroom she wanted to explore. She no longer needed to go, so back to our seats. Once we sat down she started again to say (yell) potty, me go. So this time Tim took her and left. We settled in for the last 15 minutes of the movie. About 5 minutes from the end Taylor said he needed to go again and left. I knew Tim was out walking the halls so I started to pack up.
The movie ended and we gathered up our things and headed out. On the way out the door of the theater we saw tell-tale splats........ Taylor had gotten sick again..... and again.......... and again. It was like a breadcrumb trail to the bathroom. We sent Logan in to make sure Taylor was alright. He came back out saying Taylor was a mess. Tim came out and hand off Kendall who kept repeating "Tay Tay ewwwwwww".
What a night~ only at the zoo!
We met Tim at the theater and bought our tickets. Then I got into line for popcorn and drinks. As I stood there Tim and then Taylor ran to the bathroom. Then Logan said he needed to go also. So I waited for the food and realized something was making my sock wet?!!? I looked down and realized that my bag was dripping!..... yep right into my shoe. I "sneek" in the boys cups with juice Well, that started to make me giggle, just as I started to tell Courtney about it Logan came running from the bathroom loudly proclaiming that Taylor was throwing up in the bathroom....great. But I thought Tim was helping, a few minutes later Taylor came from the bathroom telling us that he felt much better. Then Tim came out telling me "Can you believe that some kid is in the bathroom throwing up?"
Off we went to the theater to sit down, I looked down into the bag to see a puddle. This bag is also my purse so I was a bit concerned what may be floating in my purse but decided at that point it was too late. Throughout the movie Kendall was not her normal self. She ate popcorn for the first 20 minutes then she popped from lap to lap disturbing everyone in the row behind us. She needed more drink so I got up left and filled her glass with water from the drinking fountain. Then Taylor said he needed to use the bathroom so Tim hoped up and took him. While he was gone I think Kendall got the same idea. So as soon as Tim and Taylor got back Kendall started to loudly proclaim she needed to pee she needed to poop. Now I have never gotten that request, ever from her so I figured that she really didn't need to go. She just wanted to get up and move so I tried to talk her out of it. Well, not happening!!! She just got louder and louder so for what seemed like the 50th time I stood up and headed out of the aisle. When we got into the bright shiny (germy) bathroom she wanted to explore. She no longer needed to go, so back to our seats. Once we sat down she started again to say (yell) potty, me go. So this time Tim took her and left. We settled in for the last 15 minutes of the movie. About 5 minutes from the end Taylor said he needed to go again and left. I knew Tim was out walking the halls so I started to pack up.
The movie ended and we gathered up our things and headed out. On the way out the door of the theater we saw tell-tale splats........ Taylor had gotten sick again..... and again.......... and again. It was like a breadcrumb trail to the bathroom. We sent Logan in to make sure Taylor was alright. He came back out saying Taylor was a mess. Tim came out and hand off Kendall who kept repeating "Tay Tay ewwwwwww".
What a night~ only at the zoo!
Saturday, December 12, 2009
So here I sit......
As you can see by the late hour I am not sleeping well..... It has been hard lately. The whole kidney stone thing I thought. But as I sit here in the chair I know it is more. Have you ever felt that funny nagging feeling? The one that you have when you know you should do something. Maybe something your not eager to do, maybe something that you can't figure out.
For several months my good friend Melissa and I have embarked on an adventure. You know, the hat adventure. We have had so much fun! Sitting together, making great hats and clippies and sometimes laughing at the bloopers. We delight in seeing parents plunk bucket and beanie hats on their litle ones. Their precious little faces can't help but make you smile. We have been so fortunate, sales are great and we are busy. BUT, that nagging feeling.......
Well, I decided about a month ago that we needed to make this business more. More than something to do and fun. It needs a purpose, I need to do more, if our hats can give hope to someone then I want to do that. Hats of Hope...... Maybe a bit cheesy huh? I guess right now I don't care about cheesy.
So, at this point I am looking, looking for the perfect place to start. I don't know the family or circumstance yet. There are several things I have been praying about, just waiting on God's voice and timing. Trying to be patient, not an easy one for me. Hoping to hear loud and clear the direction to take this venture.
Okay so now maybe I can go to sleep!
For several months my good friend Melissa and I have embarked on an adventure. You know, the hat adventure. We have had so much fun! Sitting together, making great hats and clippies and sometimes laughing at the bloopers. We delight in seeing parents plunk bucket and beanie hats on their litle ones. Their precious little faces can't help but make you smile. We have been so fortunate, sales are great and we are busy. BUT, that nagging feeling.......
Well, I decided about a month ago that we needed to make this business more. More than something to do and fun. It needs a purpose, I need to do more, if our hats can give hope to someone then I want to do that. Hats of Hope...... Maybe a bit cheesy huh? I guess right now I don't care about cheesy.
So, at this point I am looking, looking for the perfect place to start. I don't know the family or circumstance yet. There are several things I have been praying about, just waiting on God's voice and timing. Trying to be patient, not an easy one for me. Hoping to hear loud and clear the direction to take this venture.
Okay so now maybe I can go to sleep!
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Oh my aching back.........
I remember well as a child hearing those words from different family members. All the while thinking to myself "gosh what's their deal?" Well let me tell you..... I think I have said it as many times a I heard it from all of them put together!
Friday night about 11:00 all was well wit me, I was getting ready to sit down and watch a movie with my daughter Courtney, and her cousin Ashley at my parents. I was gearing up to do a big craft show the next day. Within 15 minutes time I went from feeling fine to laying on the floor! I knew pretty much 100% what I was dealing with.... Kidney stones!!!! My Mom and Dad and even my daughter Tiffany have had them so I knew the symptoms. Courtney woke my Mom and we headed off to the ER. They did great at getting us in and seen, within about 15 minutes they were starting an IV with pain meds and sending me for a CT scan. The results were kidney stones, UTI, and a cyst on my ovary. Geeesh! I got back to Mom's and dropped into bed. The next morning I thought I felt better, well that was until I tried to get up and immediately felt sick. I really wanted to attend this craft show. The logistics were going to be a bit tough but I wanted to go. Mom and Dad both looked at me like I may be a bit crazy and asked if I was sure I wanted to go. Dad agreed to help me carry stuff and after getting sick I did think I felt better. So Courtney,Ashley, and Dad followed me there to help load in.
Once I got inside I set everything up and things started. We were selling hats and clips very well. I sat and assisted everyone so I wasn't over doing anything.... Then at about 12:30 I started to hear people echo when they spoke.... hmmmm this is not normal. I ate some snacks that Mom sent and moved along. I kept having little issues all day long like the echoing and at one point the woman who was purchasing a hat's head was HUGE! I slid through the last of the day and Dad came to help me close down. I drove myself..... yes maybe not so smart, to CVS and filled the prescriptions from the night before in the ER. About 3 minutes into waiting I was attacked AGAIN! I was crushed, I had thought it was over, not so. I headed back to Mom's and decided to stay another night to make sure we didn't get half way home and get into trouble. The night was long and the pain just kept coming. Then Sunday morning we made a plan for my Mom to come with us and stay at the house to take care of the kids. Monday seemed to be a blurr and spent a lot of the day in and out of bed. I did make it to the Dr. and they told me what I thought they would.... oh gosh, that is too bad. And if I hear this one again I will scream... Oh kidney stones are just like having a baby! Let me tell you, I was not in labor for three days and I was not expecting a calcium stone when I was pregnant!!! It is NOT the same thing.
Tuesday I did start to feel better and when Dad came to get Mom I went out to the barn and helped out a bit. Well, it is now Thursday and my body still feels like I have been beat on!!! The nausea is much better but the pain in the lower left side of my back is slowing me WAY down. I am not a patient person by any means and I am fairly active with chasing kids, farm chores, and being a Mom. This is really starting to drive me nuts!!
So now I can relate to "Oh my aching back!!!" just praying for healing and soon!
Friday night about 11:00 all was well wit me, I was getting ready to sit down and watch a movie with my daughter Courtney, and her cousin Ashley at my parents. I was gearing up to do a big craft show the next day. Within 15 minutes time I went from feeling fine to laying on the floor! I knew pretty much 100% what I was dealing with.... Kidney stones!!!! My Mom and Dad and even my daughter Tiffany have had them so I knew the symptoms. Courtney woke my Mom and we headed off to the ER. They did great at getting us in and seen, within about 15 minutes they were starting an IV with pain meds and sending me for a CT scan. The results were kidney stones, UTI, and a cyst on my ovary. Geeesh! I got back to Mom's and dropped into bed. The next morning I thought I felt better, well that was until I tried to get up and immediately felt sick. I really wanted to attend this craft show. The logistics were going to be a bit tough but I wanted to go. Mom and Dad both looked at me like I may be a bit crazy and asked if I was sure I wanted to go. Dad agreed to help me carry stuff and after getting sick I did think I felt better. So Courtney,Ashley, and Dad followed me there to help load in.
Once I got inside I set everything up and things started. We were selling hats and clips very well. I sat and assisted everyone so I wasn't over doing anything.... Then at about 12:30 I started to hear people echo when they spoke.... hmmmm this is not normal. I ate some snacks that Mom sent and moved along. I kept having little issues all day long like the echoing and at one point the woman who was purchasing a hat's head was HUGE! I slid through the last of the day and Dad came to help me close down. I drove myself..... yes maybe not so smart, to CVS and filled the prescriptions from the night before in the ER. About 3 minutes into waiting I was attacked AGAIN! I was crushed, I had thought it was over, not so. I headed back to Mom's and decided to stay another night to make sure we didn't get half way home and get into trouble. The night was long and the pain just kept coming. Then Sunday morning we made a plan for my Mom to come with us and stay at the house to take care of the kids. Monday seemed to be a blurr and spent a lot of the day in and out of bed. I did make it to the Dr. and they told me what I thought they would.... oh gosh, that is too bad. And if I hear this one again I will scream... Oh kidney stones are just like having a baby! Let me tell you, I was not in labor for three days and I was not expecting a calcium stone when I was pregnant!!! It is NOT the same thing.
Tuesday I did start to feel better and when Dad came to get Mom I went out to the barn and helped out a bit. Well, it is now Thursday and my body still feels like I have been beat on!!! The nausea is much better but the pain in the lower left side of my back is slowing me WAY down. I am not a patient person by any means and I am fairly active with chasing kids, farm chores, and being a Mom. This is really starting to drive me nuts!!
So now I can relate to "Oh my aching back!!!" just praying for healing and soon!
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Quick like a bunny
Well bust my buttons!!! I didn't know I could upload pictures directly!!! You have no idea all the hoops I always jumped through to get photos up on the blog.
It's a wonder I get myself dressed every day! Now you get to see a few of our designs!
It's a wonder I get myself dressed every day! Now you get to see a few of our designs!
Long time no post!
Wow, what is happening with the blog you ask?????? Well we are starting a new business selling kids hats and hair clips. We have been hard at work crocheting and twisting ribbon for the last couple months. We have worked several fund raisers giving a portion of the sales to great causes and are getting ready for another one.
I have been following an amazing family for quite awhile now that are coming very close to adding another sweet baby to their family. Being a family that has always struggled with infertility, I am in awe of all that Adrienne and Jim have endured and the journey that God has put them on. I will share more in the next few days...... no really just a few days not months!
I'm off to upload some pictures!
I have been following an amazing family for quite awhile now that are coming very close to adding another sweet baby to their family. Being a family that has always struggled with infertility, I am in awe of all that Adrienne and Jim have endured and the journey that God has put them on. I will share more in the next few days...... no really just a few days not months!
I'm off to upload some pictures!
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Back to School!??!?!
Well, where has the summer gone? Unbelieveabley we are actually sitting in the sunroom working on our second day of school. I'm not sure who was more whiny about the end of our fun summer, me or the boys. But in any case we are back in the groove and the good thing is I am more likely to chime in with the crazy going-ons aout the farm. Since I wasn't tied to the computer through the summer I didn't frequent my blog as much .
Things you have missed?????
well, the list could go on and on but here are a few highlights..........
We had 3 brithdays in 4 days Kendall now 2, Taylor now 7, and Tim now ...well.... very old!
Tiffany was able to cash in my beloved "jeepy" aka 94 Grand Cherokee for a new zippy little G5 Pontiac, in red!
We failed to ever get potty training off the ground
we gained 2 more drop off kittys, total now about 20!
The boys started soccer and are enjoying the fun.
Taylor lost 3 of his front top teeth and has 2 more loose.
We attended Vacation BibleSchool
For Tim's birthday we all enjoyed a Cincinnati Red's baseball game with an incredible Steven Curtis Chapman concert after. What a testimony that incredible entertainer shares........ the concert was awesome!!!! the game well....... I went for the concert anway!
Our special favorite neighbors have moved and we miss them dearly. They felt God's call and followed. I am so glad for them.
well, that is a good start and since the newly 2 Kendall is being a crazy woman I better go!!!!
Good to be back!!!
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Giving it all........................
Have you ever been around when people made a comment about a a religious "fanatic"?? Over these last few months of me "unplugging" from much of Blogworld I have tried to go deep, really deep. I have found a peace that I haven't known maybe forever in my life. Has this been a fairytale time???? definitely not.... We have lost family members, worked through sickness of family and friends, been just as financially strapped as ever before and had all the day to day small children issues.(you know the ones......sticky,slimy,and tireless)
BUT, in the midst of it all there has been such incredible peace. I have been able to hold fast to Jesus. I have been singing those praise and worship songs and enjoying every nugget of good life when it comes. I feel like the depth of faith has been increased and I know without ANY doubt that God is indeed good all the time.
So as I weeded our new garden of lilies I wondered...Have I become that"fanatic"???
Then I realized maybe all along those "fanatics" have it right. They are living the life, giving it all, not just going through the motions anymore. I hope I can someday be whispered about. It could sound a bit like this "Oh look at that woman!, she must be crazy, what a religious NUT....... and why are all those cats following her (don't ask, that is a whole different story)
Anyway, my God loves me today and yesterday. A broken woman, a sinner, kicking around in the yuck and mire, being lifted only by the grace and love of God. My God is good.... he wants to be there to lift you above the mire too.
and just to add some fun and color here are a few of the reasons I am crazy and blessed at my house.....
You think he will float???
One small step for man
A bikini body to be jealous of
BUT, in the midst of it all there has been such incredible peace. I have been able to hold fast to Jesus. I have been singing those praise and worship songs and enjoying every nugget of good life when it comes. I feel like the depth of faith has been increased and I know without ANY doubt that God is indeed good all the time.
So as I weeded our new garden of lilies I wondered...Have I become that"fanatic"???
Then I realized maybe all along those "fanatics" have it right. They are living the life, giving it all, not just going through the motions anymore. I hope I can someday be whispered about. It could sound a bit like this "Oh look at that woman!, she must be crazy, what a religious NUT....... and why are all those cats following her (don't ask, that is a whole different story)
Anyway, my God loves me today and yesterday. A broken woman, a sinner, kicking around in the yuck and mire, being lifted only by the grace and love of God. My God is good.... he wants to be there to lift you above the mire too.
and just to add some fun and color here are a few of the reasons I am crazy and blessed at my house.....
You think he will float???
One small step for man
A bikini body to be jealous of
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
Praying for Stellan
Please join in with us at the Davidson house and pray for Stellan. This little guy has been through so much and needs our prayers today. He is at this time being air-lifted to Boston in hopes of getting some much needed relief from the ravages of SVT that has been tormenting his body.
Give the family peace,strength, and rest........... help them to rest in the knowledge that God is in control and his plan has a wonderful end. Please allow them to feel the prayers being said on their behalf. Please allow His grace to be sufficient for all of them, the days ahead will be hard and no matter what the outcome Let them praise God's holy name......... Please God be with them, carry them through.
Give the family peace,strength, and rest........... help them to rest in the knowledge that God is in control and his plan has a wonderful end. Please allow them to feel the prayers being said on their behalf. Please allow His grace to be sufficient for all of them, the days ahead will be hard and no matter what the outcome Let them praise God's holy name......... Please God be with them, carry them through.
Friday, July 24, 2009
I haven't been abducted.....
Well I guess when I broke the resolution of 3 posts a week for the year I did it in a big way. I have had a wonderful, exciting, and hard summer. I haven't been able to get the words out and on the screen. I sit and stare........ nothing flies out of me fingers.
I have tried to spend a lot of time with my kids and enjoy the warm days as they slip through our fingers. We have had so much fun, life has been as interesting as possible. With three little ones and one big kid in the house we always seem to have something to be thankful for and blessed by.
I am going to try to phase back in and by fall be back full-time. I want very much to document the fun we have had and the memories we are making. This blog is probably the only way that will happen with my over spent Mom brain!
Todays funny moment came this morning when the boys signed on to their "farms". Logan is a FarmTowner and Taylor is a FarmViller. When Logan saw Taylor's avatar he started to laugh. His comment went like this: Taylor! Why does your person have an "Arfo". Hmmmm, I looked around the corner at the screen and started to laugh... the little Avatar was sporting a very spiffy "AFRO"...... reminded me of my younger brother telling me his favorite band was the "Beatless" otherwise known as the "Beatles"
I hope your all well and God is blessing your lives..............
I have tried to spend a lot of time with my kids and enjoy the warm days as they slip through our fingers. We have had so much fun, life has been as interesting as possible. With three little ones and one big kid in the house we always seem to have something to be thankful for and blessed by.
I am going to try to phase back in and by fall be back full-time. I want very much to document the fun we have had and the memories we are making. This blog is probably the only way that will happen with my over spent Mom brain!
Todays funny moment came this morning when the boys signed on to their "farms". Logan is a FarmTowner and Taylor is a FarmViller. When Logan saw Taylor's avatar he started to laugh. His comment went like this: Taylor! Why does your person have an "Arfo". Hmmmm, I looked around the corner at the screen and started to laugh... the little Avatar was sporting a very spiffy "AFRO"...... reminded me of my younger brother telling me his favorite band was the "Beatless" otherwise known as the "Beatles"
I hope your all well and God is blessing your lives..............
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Molded by Faith...........
As we traveled the long trip home yesterday from my Aunt Gin's funeral my mind was still reeling...... So much to take in, so many unanswered questions. My biggest still seems to be "why". Why now, why her. The days before the funeral and even as we traveled back to Indiana yesterday morning in truth I still hadn't wrapped my head around it all. It was all a funny rouse....... when we got to Indiana she would be there. Looking beautiful as always, her hair and nails would be impeccable. She would have the warm smile on her face and she would be laughing. Oh my, she could turn any frown into a smile with that laugh. She could make it all right, and she had a fun ornery side that would pull such a little trick like this just to get to see us sooner.
Sure, she wasn't really gone, there would be no casket, or dimly lit room, no need for multiple boxes of kleenex for all the tears. I would not see my own wonderful Mom and see her just a bit older than the last time. The sadness seeping in around the edges of her face, that she was so bravely trying to hold away. After a long trip that began in the wee hours of the morning we arrived. When we walked inside my illusion was shattered. There was a casket and inside was Aunt Gin, she looked so pretty, but not like I remember in anytime from the past. There was no warm smile or infectious laugh.... There was a lot of people there, who felt joyous for her journey out of this broken world, but sorry for themselves. Sorry that there was silence where in the past had been a voice, a very distinct voice. My cousin Micheal was one of the people who spoke, he reminded us of Aunt Gin's "voice" and heart song that made her the special individual she was. So true, it was said she walked to the beat of a different drummer. You see she wasn't like everyone else she was "special" she saw good when no one else did..... She saw beauty when others saw ugly.
My Mom spoke about her as well, speaking from proverbs.... "Train a child in the way they should go and when they are old they will not depart from it." You see, this was an original 4 pack of girls. Four very different parts that made a complete set. They were "molded" by faith and by the unfailing spirit of my Grandparents James and Bertha Massey. These 4 very different women all had common bonds, bonds of faith, and caring, morals and grace. As we all set and listened to "The show must go on". Playing I could see my aunt smiling in my head, laughing and her eyes twinkling. I realized that we her family here have big shoes to fill, she has in part passed a torch to all of us. She was a part of the molding process that brought me here and now it is our job to "mold" the next generation coming along.
I remember one time as a small child that on one of their visits to our house we were allowed to use the good crystal..... something that rarely happened. We had stemmed sherbet glasses own to fill with desserts. I loved the fancy glasses! She asked me if I knew what it meant to clink the glasses together. he said you see when you click them together it means kiss my ass! then she laughed and joked, I on the other hand was shocked! Wow, she said a BAD word!!! I will never forget how silly she was and the impact she had on my life. Later that night my cousin Tim was unhappy that the girls wouldn't share secrets..... He told us if we didn't tell him our secret he would throw himself down the stairs. His sisters easily said "okay go ahead". Down he tumbled, falling into a heap at the bottom.... then he jumped up and ran to the adults, telling on us for him throwing himself down the stairs. We hear my Aunt giggle.... she said well Tim! "why didn't you tell them you would throw "them" down the steps.'
So today I find myself being nostalgic, the tears are flowing freely, my earthly selfishness is missing my Aunt and wanting her back..........
She would tell us we should never become "moldy" by faith...... sitting still and stagnant. Only existing in the past not sharing our faith with others or staying fresh. We always need to move along and grow........
Sure, she wasn't really gone, there would be no casket, or dimly lit room, no need for multiple boxes of kleenex for all the tears. I would not see my own wonderful Mom and see her just a bit older than the last time. The sadness seeping in around the edges of her face, that she was so bravely trying to hold away. After a long trip that began in the wee hours of the morning we arrived. When we walked inside my illusion was shattered. There was a casket and inside was Aunt Gin, she looked so pretty, but not like I remember in anytime from the past. There was no warm smile or infectious laugh.... There was a lot of people there, who felt joyous for her journey out of this broken world, but sorry for themselves. Sorry that there was silence where in the past had been a voice, a very distinct voice. My cousin Micheal was one of the people who spoke, he reminded us of Aunt Gin's "voice" and heart song that made her the special individual she was. So true, it was said she walked to the beat of a different drummer. You see she wasn't like everyone else she was "special" she saw good when no one else did..... She saw beauty when others saw ugly.
My Mom spoke about her as well, speaking from proverbs.... "Train a child in the way they should go and when they are old they will not depart from it." You see, this was an original 4 pack of girls. Four very different parts that made a complete set. They were "molded" by faith and by the unfailing spirit of my Grandparents James and Bertha Massey. These 4 very different women all had common bonds, bonds of faith, and caring, morals and grace. As we all set and listened to "The show must go on". Playing I could see my aunt smiling in my head, laughing and her eyes twinkling. I realized that we her family here have big shoes to fill, she has in part passed a torch to all of us. She was a part of the molding process that brought me here and now it is our job to "mold" the next generation coming along.
I remember one time as a small child that on one of their visits to our house we were allowed to use the good crystal..... something that rarely happened. We had stemmed sherbet glasses own to fill with desserts. I loved the fancy glasses! She asked me if I knew what it meant to clink the glasses together. he said you see when you click them together it means kiss my ass! then she laughed and joked, I on the other hand was shocked! Wow, she said a BAD word!!! I will never forget how silly she was and the impact she had on my life. Later that night my cousin Tim was unhappy that the girls wouldn't share secrets..... He told us if we didn't tell him our secret he would throw himself down the stairs. His sisters easily said "okay go ahead". Down he tumbled, falling into a heap at the bottom.... then he jumped up and ran to the adults, telling on us for him throwing himself down the stairs. We hear my Aunt giggle.... she said well Tim! "why didn't you tell them you would throw "them" down the steps.'
So today I find myself being nostalgic, the tears are flowing freely, my earthly selfishness is missing my Aunt and wanting her back..........
She would tell us we should never become "moldy" by faith...... sitting still and stagnant. Only existing in the past not sharing our faith with others or staying fresh. We always need to move along and grow........
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Life and Loss.........
This afternoon my phone rang, I picked it up and it was my Mom. I was excited to chat with my Mom. As I answered the phone I knew this call was not a normal chat. She told me she had bad news but I never imagined what the news could be. My Aunt Virginia, had died..... WHAT!?!? How could that be? Just two years older than my Mom my Aunt "Gin" could not be gone...... Growing up she was always the "fun" aunt. Very fun and creative she just oozed life. She was the best story teller I have ever heard, she could keep us in stitches with her stories.
And now she is gone.......... gone to a better place but gone.... I just can't figure out how to move forward from here. My Aunt had 5 children, 8 grandchildren, and 2 great grandchildren. She had a husband who loved her dearly and is lost without her. My cousin Matt found her and tried to unsuccessfully to resesitate her. My Mom is just lost, Virginia was the closest sister in the birth order. My heart is breaking for my Mom. My heart tells me that this IS God's plan. It was time for my Aunt to go.
Even the timing was part of God's plan, just 3 days earlier our big giant family had our annual reunion. Most everyone was there to be together, even my cousin flew in from New York to be with the family. She stayed over a bit to spend more time with her family, if she had not came she would not have gotten to see her Grandma live. We live about 4 hours apart so I feel very blessed that not only me but also my kids got to see her and spend some time. She was a very creative woman who loved crafts of all kinds. she was excited to go home and make some of the cute little clippies that we bought for Kendall's hair. She gave Kendall her quilt, she has given all the little kids a quilt for their birth. Kendall loves it, it was such a nice relaxing day for our family. We all laughed and had fun, now we will all grieve and know in our hearts that "Aunt Gin" is really home now. Out grief is only for our own selves.
The timing is probably perfect but so hard for me right now. Not only is it WAY too soon but just 4 years ago tomorrow June 17 was the day we lost our sweet baby Mackenzie Faith. I hope they are all together with the rest of the family in heaven.
I miss you already............ love you so much!
And now she is gone.......... gone to a better place but gone.... I just can't figure out how to move forward from here. My Aunt had 5 children, 8 grandchildren, and 2 great grandchildren. She had a husband who loved her dearly and is lost without her. My cousin Matt found her and tried to unsuccessfully to resesitate her. My Mom is just lost, Virginia was the closest sister in the birth order. My heart is breaking for my Mom. My heart tells me that this IS God's plan. It was time for my Aunt to go.
Even the timing was part of God's plan, just 3 days earlier our big giant family had our annual reunion. Most everyone was there to be together, even my cousin flew in from New York to be with the family. She stayed over a bit to spend more time with her family, if she had not came she would not have gotten to see her Grandma live. We live about 4 hours apart so I feel very blessed that not only me but also my kids got to see her and spend some time. She was a very creative woman who loved crafts of all kinds. she was excited to go home and make some of the cute little clippies that we bought for Kendall's hair. She gave Kendall her quilt, she has given all the little kids a quilt for their birth. Kendall loves it, it was such a nice relaxing day for our family. We all laughed and had fun, now we will all grieve and know in our hearts that "Aunt Gin" is really home now. Out grief is only for our own selves.
The timing is probably perfect but so hard for me right now. Not only is it WAY too soon but just 4 years ago tomorrow June 17 was the day we lost our sweet baby Mackenzie Faith. I hope they are all together with the rest of the family in heaven.
I miss you already............ love you so much!
Monday, June 15, 2009
Potty Training 101
Potty Training................ really!?!? .....now?
Well, it seems we are once again at that point. Ugh! My least favorite part of child-rearing..... potty training. I’m sure in the end it will all work out and we will have a dry underpants wearing child, but the getting there is not something that I ever enjoy. As with all other aspects of bringing up baby there is NO silver bullet. No one way for all that really works, well at least not at our house. I do believe that everyone has their price.....their currency. Figuring that out is just the first step.
So far Kendall is right in their with the pack at 22 mo. She is asking questions and now proudly sitting on her Elmo potty seat several times a day. She is so proud, she smiles and chats about the things in the bathroom and talks about who else sits on the potty. So far I don’t think she has the foggiest idea “what” she is supposed to do there. We have had one success because the look of concentration tipped me off but other than that we are still in the sit and wait stage of the game.
I think that her currency will definitely be food. Maybe cookies, aka animal crackers. When we bought the seat Taylor wanted to know where the hats and horns were. His currency was a potty party when we had success. Lots of tooting, horn blowing, and clapping. At 6 he still vividly remembers this.... Funny to me that it left such an impression. Logan was all about the praise. Courtney went through the process kinking and screaming. But she got there....... Tiffany our oldest learned her colors and was all about “big” girl panties. She was the quickest to train, maybe because she was the ONLY distraction at the time. Poor Kendall has to jump into line and hope someone notices. So I guess we are off and as they say slow and steady will win the race.
Well, it seems we are once again at that point. Ugh! My least favorite part of child-rearing..... potty training. I’m sure in the end it will all work out and we will have a dry underpants wearing child, but the getting there is not something that I ever enjoy. As with all other aspects of bringing up baby there is NO silver bullet. No one way for all that really works, well at least not at our house. I do believe that everyone has their price.....their currency. Figuring that out is just the first step.
So far Kendall is right in their with the pack at 22 mo. She is asking questions and now proudly sitting on her Elmo potty seat several times a day. She is so proud, she smiles and chats about the things in the bathroom and talks about who else sits on the potty. So far I don’t think she has the foggiest idea “what” she is supposed to do there. We have had one success because the look of concentration tipped me off but other than that we are still in the sit and wait stage of the game.
I think that her currency will definitely be food. Maybe cookies, aka animal crackers. When we bought the seat Taylor wanted to know where the hats and horns were. His currency was a potty party when we had success. Lots of tooting, horn blowing, and clapping. At 6 he still vividly remembers this.... Funny to me that it left such an impression. Logan was all about the praise. Courtney went through the process kinking and screaming. But she got there....... Tiffany our oldest learned her colors and was all about “big” girl panties. She was the quickest to train, maybe because she was the ONLY distraction at the time. Poor Kendall has to jump into line and hope someone notices. So I guess we are off and as they say slow and steady will win the race.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
part of history ............. part 3
Finally, the long awaited end of the beginning!
Right after the sparkly ball dropped on New Year’s Ever, I kissed him and said “SO! What about us having a baby. He was not impressed!!! But we did talk and eventually ..... after much begging, pleading and pouting. Yes I resorted to pouting! He finally agreed that we could try again, I think more so just to get me out of my funk. He does love me so much. I made my appointment and went in and had a face to face reality appointment with the RE. My odds were not good with my own eggs and we couldn't’t afford the costs of donor egg. That was okay because I just knew in my heart that God DID intend on us having 1 more child. It didn't matter the odds because if god could part the waters to free his people he could make our miracle and I would get pregnant, what were odds anyway??? Tim saw me as being over hormonal and not thinking it was a good idea but he did agree to give it another try.
We took the class and loaded up the drugs....several shots a day, (ouch!)and to me that is no small feat. I am a true needle-phobic, although helpful Tim was not impressed having to give all the shots. I did some of them after awhile because I knew his heart was only in this for me. He had been so hurt losing Mackenzie that he didn’t want to let himself even hope anymore. I went to the appointments and in for the scans, my egg production was not stellar but I only needed one golden egg and I had 8 follicles, the RE was impressed with the production. My hopes were high that I was going to beat the odds, I was considered way into the advanced maternal age category. We went to retrieval and got 4 eggs. I was disappointed but again I remembered that I only needed 1. We kept track of the embryos and their progress waiting till time to put them back. To my total shock and dismay none of our embryos developed properly and the procedure was cancelled, to say I was crushed and confused is an understatement. Once again I felt lost and like my body was plotting against me. I just felt sure in my heart God had a plan for us, I knew there was a piece of our family picture missing. My tiny myopic view....... my God is so big and I continually short change him. I have even on occasion found myself thinking I knew better how to handle a situation. Silly humans aren't we??
Elizabeth called again................. please, let me carry a baby for you. God is getting persistent, he wants this to happen. I went into the doctor’s office for a follow up and to see out next step. They were very firm that I was not a good candidate for anymore procedures, my thyroid was not reacting correctly and without that proper balance if a pregnancy was achieved it would be lost, my veins were shot from all the IV's with past pregnancies, and our egg quality was just not good. I was so sad this had to be God's plan, didn't it?............ but again Elizabeth called and said that God was getting really naggy about the issue, we needed to consider the surrogacy. So I said Tim and I would talk, I knew this would not go well and really felt this was not the path for us. I spent a lot of time in prayer asking God for direction in this matter. It was a short conversation............ NO! He did not like the idea of all the things that could go wrong. E in his opinion and I were just being “hormonal”.
Over the next several months E and I talked more and more. I started to see maybe this was our path. I knew there would be many many obstacles to overcome. I prayed, pleaded and Tim refused. Everyone he talked to told him to run from this situation, so many things in the news said this was VERY risky. Elizabeth would call several times a month asking if Tim was on board yet. Finally she told me we needed to move! She said God told her she would have a girl for us that would be born in August. Talk about a clear message!! One day she called and I told her that Tim was still refusing, she said “ tell him God says do this, and certainly Tim doesn't think he knows more than God right??, so I told him. Finally after months of pleading and a week after that message, Tim came in one night and looked at me and said “Fine, you think you need to do this go ahead. BUT if it doesn’t work this time it is over”.
We called the RE I had always used and talked to them. They gave us a huge list of hurdles and were not open to the procedure. So we did a little research and were told that one of the RE’s that had left the practice may be willing. So we called to make an appointment we got in that same week! So we went to speak with him, for anyone how has not dealt with RE's that quick appointment with no month long wait was amazing! He scanned Elizabeth and said if we could get the paperwork ready that she was at a good place and the procedure could be done at the end of the week. WOW! End of the week, what paperwork? Well it seems that surrogacy needs LOTS of legal paperwork. The RE gave us the name of a wonderful attorney and I called her right away, and she also got us in amazingly fast. So I went the next day and she said that she would help us out and have a standard document drawn up. If we could get it back we would be in time for the end of the week and her IUI! We had a terrible time lining up the donation part for Tim and almost had to cancel. They were able to give us some “food” to keep the swimmers alive longer and we were able to do it. All worked out and 9 days after the procedure we found out that Elizabeth was pregnant. Talk about amazing!!? We told only a few people about our surrogacy journey, we just didn't want to have to deal with all the comments and negative comments.We decided to not tell Tim's Mom and dad, we knew that they would worry endlessly and it really didn't seem to make sense to have them worry, they just would get a quick surprise!
We were so excited and our due date? August 10! August, the month God told Elizabeth that she would deliver. I learned early on that this pregnancy was really different from my previous ones in one way. I was not sick, I could enjoy the pregnancy! I attended each and every appointment, I tried to be as much a part of this pregnancy as possible. We talked several times a week and time seemed to stand still, when Elizabeth was 17 weeks along we went for the “fun scan” to find out the pink or blue question. It was a GIRL! I was so excited that on my way home I shopped for pink! All on sale and I got items for 4 holidays!!! God just kept on blessing us.... ha ha.
Early in August we were all anticipating Kendall’s birth and thought that we should probably start to break the news to some of the family we had not told. On August 3rd we made a trip to Tim's Mom and Dad's and gave them the news that they would again be Grandparents. They were very confused to say the least since I did not look pregnant and even more surprised to hear that the baby was due in just 7 days!!We decided after MUCH debate to name her after Tim’s dad Kenneth. Kendall seemed like the perfect name to me. His Mom and Dad finally got to start a baby grand daughter from the beginning. After 5 Grandsons it seemed perfect since none of the boys had used his name. August 10 came and went but our baby was so comfy that she wasn’t ready. On the morning of August 10, Elizabeth decided that she would be induced in 3 days. I was SO excited this tiny baby that I had been waiting to feel and see was finally going to make her entrance. We had my parents come and stay with the boys and could be at the house when we got home with her. I went to wait out the long labor, all of E's labors had been long very long.... over 24 hours. So I went alone and Tim and Tiffany planned to come up closer to delivery. I sat waiting and watching unable to “do” anything but thanking God for the blessing that Elizabeth was working to give us. I hated that she had to go through so much pain for me. I wished I could take that pain for her. She worked through the labor like a champ, she did such a wonderful job. Within 4 hours Kendall was about ready to be born and Tim and Tiffany came to the room. Our precious baby Kendall was born within minutes and our lives forever changed. 6 lb and 10 oz of wonder and amazement!! Our life has not been the same since! I see God's plan and blessings in each and everyday. Is life perfect now????? nope! We were never promised perfect! Just a life that is blessed by our saviours sacrifice of his precious only Son.
I can easily now look back and see the miracles. God did direct Elizabeth, he was faithful with the timing and the messages that he had told Elizabeth. He changed our lives forever by allowing us to have our baby Mackenzie. Even if we only got to have her with us for a little while. God directed our paths to cross clear back in September of 2000. He made beauty from ashes....... So yea,.... I want to be able to explain just how special she has been to us. I will never be able to repay Elizabeth for her gift. She easily says that God told her to take this path and she would never trade the experience. She also told us how could she ignore a command from God and after all we had agreed and been willing to be God parents and raise her girls if need be so why wouldn’t she be willing to give a baby to us............... she is an incredible person. A true blessing to us.
Kendall is as much or more of a miracle when I look at the path God sent us on than the other babies that I tried so hard to have. I want her to know that she is and always has been a blessing to our family.
Then .... such a tiny little blessing
Now ..... my little firecracker!
Right after the sparkly ball dropped on New Year’s Ever, I kissed him and said “SO! What about us having a baby. He was not impressed!!! But we did talk and eventually ..... after much begging, pleading and pouting. Yes I resorted to pouting! He finally agreed that we could try again, I think more so just to get me out of my funk. He does love me so much. I made my appointment and went in and had a face to face reality appointment with the RE. My odds were not good with my own eggs and we couldn't’t afford the costs of donor egg. That was okay because I just knew in my heart that God DID intend on us having 1 more child. It didn't matter the odds because if god could part the waters to free his people he could make our miracle and I would get pregnant, what were odds anyway??? Tim saw me as being over hormonal and not thinking it was a good idea but he did agree to give it another try.
We took the class and loaded up the drugs....several shots a day, (ouch!)and to me that is no small feat. I am a true needle-phobic, although helpful Tim was not impressed having to give all the shots. I did some of them after awhile because I knew his heart was only in this for me. He had been so hurt losing Mackenzie that he didn’t want to let himself even hope anymore. I went to the appointments and in for the scans, my egg production was not stellar but I only needed one golden egg and I had 8 follicles, the RE was impressed with the production. My hopes were high that I was going to beat the odds, I was considered way into the advanced maternal age category. We went to retrieval and got 4 eggs. I was disappointed but again I remembered that I only needed 1. We kept track of the embryos and their progress waiting till time to put them back. To my total shock and dismay none of our embryos developed properly and the procedure was cancelled, to say I was crushed and confused is an understatement. Once again I felt lost and like my body was plotting against me. I just felt sure in my heart God had a plan for us, I knew there was a piece of our family picture missing. My tiny myopic view....... my God is so big and I continually short change him. I have even on occasion found myself thinking I knew better how to handle a situation. Silly humans aren't we??
Elizabeth called again................. please, let me carry a baby for you. God is getting persistent, he wants this to happen. I went into the doctor’s office for a follow up and to see out next step. They were very firm that I was not a good candidate for anymore procedures, my thyroid was not reacting correctly and without that proper balance if a pregnancy was achieved it would be lost, my veins were shot from all the IV's with past pregnancies, and our egg quality was just not good. I was so sad this had to be God's plan, didn't it?............ but again Elizabeth called and said that God was getting really naggy about the issue, we needed to consider the surrogacy. So I said Tim and I would talk, I knew this would not go well and really felt this was not the path for us. I spent a lot of time in prayer asking God for direction in this matter. It was a short conversation............ NO! He did not like the idea of all the things that could go wrong. E in his opinion and I were just being “hormonal”.
Over the next several months E and I talked more and more. I started to see maybe this was our path. I knew there would be many many obstacles to overcome. I prayed, pleaded and Tim refused. Everyone he talked to told him to run from this situation, so many things in the news said this was VERY risky. Elizabeth would call several times a month asking if Tim was on board yet. Finally she told me we needed to move! She said God told her she would have a girl for us that would be born in August. Talk about a clear message!! One day she called and I told her that Tim was still refusing, she said “ tell him God says do this, and certainly Tim doesn't think he knows more than God right??, so I told him. Finally after months of pleading and a week after that message, Tim came in one night and looked at me and said “Fine, you think you need to do this go ahead. BUT if it doesn’t work this time it is over”.
We called the RE I had always used and talked to them. They gave us a huge list of hurdles and were not open to the procedure. So we did a little research and were told that one of the RE’s that had left the practice may be willing. So we called to make an appointment we got in that same week! So we went to speak with him, for anyone how has not dealt with RE's that quick appointment with no month long wait was amazing! He scanned Elizabeth and said if we could get the paperwork ready that she was at a good place and the procedure could be done at the end of the week. WOW! End of the week, what paperwork? Well it seems that surrogacy needs LOTS of legal paperwork. The RE gave us the name of a wonderful attorney and I called her right away, and she also got us in amazingly fast. So I went the next day and she said that she would help us out and have a standard document drawn up. If we could get it back we would be in time for the end of the week and her IUI! We had a terrible time lining up the donation part for Tim and almost had to cancel. They were able to give us some “food” to keep the swimmers alive longer and we were able to do it. All worked out and 9 days after the procedure we found out that Elizabeth was pregnant. Talk about amazing!!? We told only a few people about our surrogacy journey, we just didn't want to have to deal with all the comments and negative comments.We decided to not tell Tim's Mom and dad, we knew that they would worry endlessly and it really didn't seem to make sense to have them worry, they just would get a quick surprise!
We were so excited and our due date? August 10! August, the month God told Elizabeth that she would deliver. I learned early on that this pregnancy was really different from my previous ones in one way. I was not sick, I could enjoy the pregnancy! I attended each and every appointment, I tried to be as much a part of this pregnancy as possible. We talked several times a week and time seemed to stand still, when Elizabeth was 17 weeks along we went for the “fun scan” to find out the pink or blue question. It was a GIRL! I was so excited that on my way home I shopped for pink! All on sale and I got items for 4 holidays!!! God just kept on blessing us.... ha ha.
Early in August we were all anticipating Kendall’s birth and thought that we should probably start to break the news to some of the family we had not told. On August 3rd we made a trip to Tim's Mom and Dad's and gave them the news that they would again be Grandparents. They were very confused to say the least since I did not look pregnant and even more surprised to hear that the baby was due in just 7 days!!We decided after MUCH debate to name her after Tim’s dad Kenneth. Kendall seemed like the perfect name to me. His Mom and Dad finally got to start a baby grand daughter from the beginning. After 5 Grandsons it seemed perfect since none of the boys had used his name. August 10 came and went but our baby was so comfy that she wasn’t ready. On the morning of August 10, Elizabeth decided that she would be induced in 3 days. I was SO excited this tiny baby that I had been waiting to feel and see was finally going to make her entrance. We had my parents come and stay with the boys and could be at the house when we got home with her. I went to wait out the long labor, all of E's labors had been long very long.... over 24 hours. So I went alone and Tim and Tiffany planned to come up closer to delivery. I sat waiting and watching unable to “do” anything but thanking God for the blessing that Elizabeth was working to give us. I hated that she had to go through so much pain for me. I wished I could take that pain for her. She worked through the labor like a champ, she did such a wonderful job. Within 4 hours Kendall was about ready to be born and Tim and Tiffany came to the room. Our precious baby Kendall was born within minutes and our lives forever changed. 6 lb and 10 oz of wonder and amazement!! Our life has not been the same since! I see God's plan and blessings in each and everyday. Is life perfect now????? nope! We were never promised perfect! Just a life that is blessed by our saviours sacrifice of his precious only Son.
I can easily now look back and see the miracles. God did direct Elizabeth, he was faithful with the timing and the messages that he had told Elizabeth. He changed our lives forever by allowing us to have our baby Mackenzie. Even if we only got to have her with us for a little while. God directed our paths to cross clear back in September of 2000. He made beauty from ashes....... So yea,.... I want to be able to explain just how special she has been to us. I will never be able to repay Elizabeth for her gift. She easily says that God told her to take this path and she would never trade the experience. She also told us how could she ignore a command from God and after all we had agreed and been willing to be God parents and raise her girls if need be so why wouldn’t she be willing to give a baby to us............... she is an incredible person. A true blessing to us.
Kendall is as much or more of a miracle when I look at the path God sent us on than the other babies that I tried so hard to have. I want her to know that she is and always has been a blessing to our family.
Then .... such a tiny little blessing
Now ..... my little firecracker!
Friday, May 8, 2009
Is it a Vase, no It's a Hat!
We have these 2 fun little items at our house.
We bought them at the Pretzel Festival the year we made the move to Southern Ohio (1999). Tiffany and I had come to "check out" the town and it happened to be on a weekend that they were having their annual festival. At first glance they look like vases don't they? Imagine our surprise when the guy in the booth called us over to show us these cardboard "vases". Yep, that's right corrugated cardboard, hmmmm not sounding like a vase anymore is it? Well if you look at the next photos you will see that not only are they not vases but, they are very sturdy and have lasted through 4 kids going on the 5th.
We haven't heard of them since we saw them that day but I have decided it was one of the best 15.00 I have spent on the kids. The hats open to all sizes so from little person to adult they are a perfect fit! They have spent literally hours in these fun functional hats...... Funky Fudoras 2 hats in one.
We bought them at the Pretzel Festival the year we made the move to Southern Ohio (1999). Tiffany and I had come to "check out" the town and it happened to be on a weekend that they were having their annual festival. At first glance they look like vases don't they? Imagine our surprise when the guy in the booth called us over to show us these cardboard "vases". Yep, that's right corrugated cardboard, hmmmm not sounding like a vase anymore is it? Well if you look at the next photos you will see that not only are they not vases but, they are very sturdy and have lasted through 4 kids going on the 5th.
We haven't heard of them since we saw them that day but I have decided it was one of the best 15.00 I have spent on the kids. The hats open to all sizes so from little person to adult they are a perfect fit! They have spent literally hours in these fun functional hats...... Funky Fudoras 2 hats in one.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Not Me Monday...... It's back!
Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.
Well, let me start by saying that I did NOT miss the Not Me Mondy fun over the last several weeks while we all rode along with Mckmama on her journey with Stellan. Sitting in anticipation while my computer loaded everyday to see how he was. I sogned up for Twitter even though I only "tweet" to 2 people but I could keep tabs on the little guy that way. I also did NOT break my own goal of posting at least 3 times a week in the year 2009. I mean really how hard should it be to post just 3 times in 7 days or just under 170 hours........... but I seem to be caught in the latest Face Book obsession thanks to Nancy, my good friend from our IVF board. I DO Face Book you see..... (NOT). I don't have time to see when people are running to the store or fixing their meals. I do NOT stay in the real world! Feet firmly planted in the REAL! That is why Farm Town is such a normal thing for me, building, planting, running a virtual farm..... yea right that would be me for sure!?!? Like I do NOT have enough to do here at our REAL farm. But you see I have figured it out, the catchy little tune is hypnotic and it does NOT draw you in and bring you back again and again into the addiction. I have all but stopped cleaning and laundry here at the real house..... okay okay so I didn't have a great handle on it before but REALLY now I seem to log on to "check" my farm and work for others a lot! If I REALLY worked for REAL money we would NOT have a fat little piggy bank!
I have also finally understood the "you will never stop smoking till you are ready theory...... even though I know I should be more productive in the REAL world, I don't want to be! Blissfully planting, picking, selling, and yes even begging for jobs in too fun! SO, if you have many many mindless hours that you need to fill, just sign on to Face Book and click into Farm Town, your Dream farm is waiting for you too!!!
I did NOT this week make a plan to have all the organizing done for Spring only to throw those plans out the window due to time issues...... hmmmmm there it is that lack of time thing again. Maybe we should just MOVE TO Farm Town, it seems to be much more organized than home!
We did NOT get a bottle of gel and make the boys Faux-hawks this week. Taylor's seemed to just fall over into ringlets because his hair is NOT like his Mom's as far as the body goes. When he was little he used to smile and say "I love my turls". Logan however got a pretty good spike going.
We are not gearing up for a Granny visit this weekend. The last time Mom came both she and Courtney came for 4 days!! We did NOT run from store to store to restaurant the whole time they were here. Nope NOT us, the fun lasted so long that dinner did NOT happen till about 8:30 every night. I would never allow that kind of schedule mix-up with the kids. My Mom AKA Super Granny did NOT also buy overly expensive tennis shoes for all the kids while she was here. Nope, she would never indulge the kids like that. The kids do NOT think she is the BEST Granny hands down. It was NOT the best time ever. This time however just Granny is coming Courtney is NOT going to be hard at work studying for finals.... (she better be!)
We did NOT cook a 24lb. turkey and then bone it and cook it some more and turn it into 6 containers of quick meals for the warm weather so I am able to be with the kids and still serve REAL meals.
We did NOT put the trampoline up the day Courtney got here and now have the blackest socks in the neighborhood. No way, my kids would NEVER want to get so dirty.
I did NOT get so aggravated with the neighbors dog that I drove her home 3 times on Saturday and finally put her into her pen and lock the door so the kids could play and walk the llamas without them all being scared by BEAR the neighbors dog. She also did NOT puncture 2 balls and shred 1 frisbee. That would never happen since she is the neighbors dog and they do NOT allow her to be at our house more than theirs!
I did NOT put all of Kendall's size 2 shoes in the container. She is finally wearing a size 3 now, she is NOT also finally in a 12 month clothes size at least most of the time. After all she is only 20 1/2 months old now.
I did NOT feel so tired that I just couldn't make myself upload the pictures to go with this post. After all it was after 4 a.m. when I put down my hoe, long day on the Farm Town farm! I MUST have this ready for the BIG race in the morning with MckMama so the pictures will again come later.........
Friday, May 1, 2009
part 2 from history.......
Early June we got in the car and headed to the hospital for our level II pink or blue scan. This is always a highlight of pregnancy for both Tim and I. When they ask the question "Do you want to know the sex of the baby?" We always about trip over each other yelling YES! This scan is really not for pink or blue but would look for abnormalities and give a good picture of our baby. We just really wanted to know pink or blue, there had never even been the hint of trouble. There was no fear in my mind and no doubt that our baby was fine. After the miracle of getting pregnant, and then being sick for SO long again, enduring IV hook-up for months. I was so sure God was giving us this gift to have and to hold forever. Once we got there they got us situated and the tech happily got the scan underway. The scan started and we immediately saw this our baby dancing and twirling. She was so active the tech commented that she was giving her a run for her money. I commented that I was dissapointed that we couldn't have a cool 4D scan to really SEE our baby. She smiled, poked a button and there on the screen was the cutest baby I had every seen. The tech explained she wasn't very cute yet because she didn't have a lot of fat on her but I was in love with the little alien. Oh and we found out our baby was indeed a girl!! God again blessed us! We were thrilled and I thought to myself “this must be what it feels like to win the lottery”. Then the doctor came in and they told us that he would be checking everything and he would mumble a lot and not to worry. Of course hearing that made me even a bit more determined to hear what he was mumbling. Now I wonder if the tech clued him in before he got there. He was a great mumbler, I couldn't understand anything he said. The next words we told us after he finished were burned into my brain forever. ..... “Everything looks fine BUT”..................... BUT!?!?!? My mind started reeling and I couldn’t breathe or think. He continued to speak..... “her heart”. My sweet little girl had a heart problem I caught my composer as the tears started to roll down my cheeks and we listened carefully to him speak. He recommended that we get an amnio and go for bloodtests. We had passed on the amnio before, it just wasn’t necessary but now we needed to consider it. The results wouldn’t change anything, but maybe this could give us insight into our daughters health and maybe it could give us a chance to be prepared. He left the room and then returned to ask if we would like to speak to the head of Pediatric Cardiology at Children’s we eagerly said yes. The meeting went well and we agreed to go back in for the tests, maybe they could do something before she was born or atleast be prepared when she was.. We only let ourselves hear that she had a heart issue that would need surgery after she was born. He was an older Dr. with very kind eyes and patience to listen to all of our questions. I started to pre-plan for our stay at the NICU. I was still sure that this problem would be resolved. God would just continue to make miracles of our babies life. We decided to call her Mackenzie Faith, and we called in favors from friends, famliy, and church to pray for our baby. After the amnio we waited uneasily through the weekend and on Monday I called the office so they could tell me everything would be okay. That call never happened..... they told us that our baby would not survive. I was also told that my thyroid numbers were extremely bad. We were broken and in disbelief, this could not be happening.......... why would God give us a miracle only to snatch it away. We started praying......... God could fix this and make our miracle even bigger. Elizabeth called 2 days later out of the blue and asked how we were doing.... Through my tears I explained our story. We cried together and she agreed.... God would not let my baby die she would be healed. Elizabeth assured me that everything would be okay. She said “I know you are supposed to have another baby, remember I told you that a long time ago”. She was right, I remembered that after I had Taylor she joked and told me that she knew I would have another baby. I had laughed and told her “no way” 4 times through the IV’s and pucking were enough.
Two short weeks later on June 17th our sweet baby was gone. . . . . . We were devastated, broken, lost. I walked through my days in the dark, it actually really was dark. My days were robotic and thankfully I had my 4 children here at home to keep me from crawling in a hole. I hated the nights, the dreams that chased me caused me to wake myself screaming. Life was no longer my own, I was gripped in a grief that just wouldn't let go. Several weeks later Elizabeth called me and I told her the news, again we cried.. Little did I know that my life was to take even more twists and turns. My normal would never be the same again. The beginning of August we were preparing to send our oldest daughter to college. Out of the nest and not to return she would tell us laughing. (She was back 4 months later.... ha ha). On August 9th Courtney returned home from her summer visitation with her Dad. She was acting strangely quiet and I thought it was just another adjustment time since she had been away. It was hard for her to bounce back and forth. The next day I received a phone call from her Dad telling me that Courtney “wanted” to live with him. We had a short but loud conversation, this made no sense and as a Junior in high school with friends I knew in my heart this was his dealings not hers. The next 4 months God gave me purpose, saving my daughter who was not strong enough to save herself. As I look back I think God sent me through yet another heart wrenching period to give me the passion to get up and move through the day. Court appearances and cross-examinations started to be my life, the worry and concern for my daughter took over. The grief still gripped me mostly at night for my tiny baby Mackenzie. I would still wake sobbing and screaming, the nightmares were indescribable. In December while Christmas shopping we got the call that Courtney would definately be staying with us. The judge was very complimentary towards our parenting. She also revisited child support and doubled the amount we had previously received. She strongly advised Courtney’s Dad to become a part of her life in a real way and not just put on a facade...... but I digress. My fear in early August of loosing all my girls in one summer was put to rest. Courtney would be staying home and Tiffany was back home not living on campus, another story for another time. Just my sweet Mackenzie was missing......
In the following months my heart just would not let go of the thought that we needed to have another baby. Tim didn’t want anything to do with revisiting the pain. We had 4 wonderful kids.......... we needed to be thankful and be done. Although I was very thankful, there was a huge hole in my heart that would not heal. I didn’t want to end my baby years with this terrible painful loss. Tim thought I was being hormonal and after a couple months of me begging told me he didn’t even want to hear ONE word about any more babies till January. JANUARY? How could I do that January was months away and I thought about it every 5 minutes? About the same time Elizabeth called and told me she needed to talk to me. We talked for a little while and then she told me why she had called. She wanted to be a surrogate for us. She wanted to carry a baby for us. I basically brushed it off ... thinking it was just crazy. But she called again and again...... and again. She told me the third time she called that God was telling her to carry a baby for us. I told her thank you but no. I had decided that we would go through one more try ourselves. BUT I couldn’t speak about it with Tim till January.
Two short weeks later on June 17th our sweet baby was gone. . . . . . We were devastated, broken, lost. I walked through my days in the dark, it actually really was dark. My days were robotic and thankfully I had my 4 children here at home to keep me from crawling in a hole. I hated the nights, the dreams that chased me caused me to wake myself screaming. Life was no longer my own, I was gripped in a grief that just wouldn't let go. Several weeks later Elizabeth called me and I told her the news, again we cried.. Little did I know that my life was to take even more twists and turns. My normal would never be the same again. The beginning of August we were preparing to send our oldest daughter to college. Out of the nest and not to return she would tell us laughing. (She was back 4 months later.... ha ha). On August 9th Courtney returned home from her summer visitation with her Dad. She was acting strangely quiet and I thought it was just another adjustment time since she had been away. It was hard for her to bounce back and forth. The next day I received a phone call from her Dad telling me that Courtney “wanted” to live with him. We had a short but loud conversation, this made no sense and as a Junior in high school with friends I knew in my heart this was his dealings not hers. The next 4 months God gave me purpose, saving my daughter who was not strong enough to save herself. As I look back I think God sent me through yet another heart wrenching period to give me the passion to get up and move through the day. Court appearances and cross-examinations started to be my life, the worry and concern for my daughter took over. The grief still gripped me mostly at night for my tiny baby Mackenzie. I would still wake sobbing and screaming, the nightmares were indescribable. In December while Christmas shopping we got the call that Courtney would definately be staying with us. The judge was very complimentary towards our parenting. She also revisited child support and doubled the amount we had previously received. She strongly advised Courtney’s Dad to become a part of her life in a real way and not just put on a facade...... but I digress. My fear in early August of loosing all my girls in one summer was put to rest. Courtney would be staying home and Tiffany was back home not living on campus, another story for another time. Just my sweet Mackenzie was missing......
In the following months my heart just would not let go of the thought that we needed to have another baby. Tim didn’t want anything to do with revisiting the pain. We had 4 wonderful kids.......... we needed to be thankful and be done. Although I was very thankful, there was a huge hole in my heart that would not heal. I didn’t want to end my baby years with this terrible painful loss. Tim thought I was being hormonal and after a couple months of me begging told me he didn’t even want to hear ONE word about any more babies till January. JANUARY? How could I do that January was months away and I thought about it every 5 minutes? About the same time Elizabeth called and told me she needed to talk to me. We talked for a little while and then she told me why she had called. She wanted to be a surrogate for us. She wanted to carry a baby for us. I basically brushed it off ... thinking it was just crazy. But she called again and again...... and again. She told me the third time she called that God was telling her to carry a baby for us. I told her thank you but no. I had decided that we would go through one more try ourselves. BUT I couldn’t speak about it with Tim till January.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
A little bit of history.............
Yesterday I sat down with Kendall in her beautiful girly room. As I sat there holding this perfect little girl I once again said a prayer. I say a prayer of thanksgiving for this little girl everyday. Don’t get me wrong I am so thankful for all my babies. They were all long fought for, prayed for, and literally begged for. I have been blessed with a life of infertility, something that I did'nt learn to be thankful for till just recently. Anyone who has traveled this path knows the prayers and the tears shed. Our last miracle baby Kendall holds an even more special place in my heart. Someday I want to be able to tell her how special she is to us.
Kendall’s journey is such a miracle and it unfolded without us even knowing for a long time....
In September of 2000 I had just given birth to my first son, I was over the moon and thrilled with this little man. We brought him home and I immediately realized that we had some issues with his breast feeding. I have breast fed both of the older girls with no issue but things just did'nt feel right. I couldn’t put my finger on what the issue was. I called the lactation consultant and told them that we were having some trouble and more pain than necessary. I set an appointment and went in. They helped me out and then I ended up going back three times. He was a stinker about latching, so they worked with us a lot! While there they told me about a program... a playgroup of sorts for babies but in real life for the Mommies of the babies. We would go to the hospital and meet every other Tuesday and Thursday. We started to attend and really enjoyed it. There was a group of Moms that continued to attend the playgroup through our second pregnancies. One of the Moms in the group was Elizabeth. Elizabeth had her baby girl Merlin 6 days before I had Logan. We became good friends and I even was in the room with her when she delivered her next daughter Piper.
Elizabeth and I became close for a time and she even asked Tim and I if we would be willing to be the guardians for her little girls if anything happened to her and her husband. There was no one in their families that they felt comfortable leaving their girls with. We spent a lot of time in prayer about the responsibility of raising these two extrordinary little girls and felt that God was leading us to say yes. We spent many Thursdays together at the hospital and for lunch afterwards. Our kids made fast friends with each other and as they grew started to look forward to playgroup as much as we Mommies. We sometimes met in between times so the kids could “play”. Time flew and after about 4 ½ years we all started to miss this time or that time. I was'nt even nursing anymore and I traveled an hour to go to “play”. So slowly we stopped attending playgroup. We did still get together for the kids birthdays or to swim in the summer but we didn’t see each other very much. Our busy lives and growing children started to take over.
In January of 2005 I found out that I was “miraculously” pregnant. I my entire life I had NEVER gotten pregnant easily. We had always needed assistance from doctors, but here I was pregnant. After the shock wore off I prepared myself for the pregnancy. You see when I am pregnant I don’t “do it” well. At about 4 weeks along I start to get extreme hyperemesis, that means that I throw up continually....... morning till night. Nothing seems to help and believe me I tried everything. For the next 4 months I keep a handy dandy IV backpack plugged in so that I don’t dehydrate. I get new IV”s inserted every several days and I still puke several times a day. So I buckle my seat belt and get ready for baby number 5. In our house pink or blue is always the burning question. I literally can’t sleep some nights wondering. This time was no different, but I was hoping not so secretly that this time after two boys that we would have a little girl. I prayed “pink”.
Well, that is the beginning of this story and journey in our life, come back later for more...................
Kendall’s journey is such a miracle and it unfolded without us even knowing for a long time....
In September of 2000 I had just given birth to my first son, I was over the moon and thrilled with this little man. We brought him home and I immediately realized that we had some issues with his breast feeding. I have breast fed both of the older girls with no issue but things just did'nt feel right. I couldn’t put my finger on what the issue was. I called the lactation consultant and told them that we were having some trouble and more pain than necessary. I set an appointment and went in. They helped me out and then I ended up going back three times. He was a stinker about latching, so they worked with us a lot! While there they told me about a program... a playgroup of sorts for babies but in real life for the Mommies of the babies. We would go to the hospital and meet every other Tuesday and Thursday. We started to attend and really enjoyed it. There was a group of Moms that continued to attend the playgroup through our second pregnancies. One of the Moms in the group was Elizabeth. Elizabeth had her baby girl Merlin 6 days before I had Logan. We became good friends and I even was in the room with her when she delivered her next daughter Piper.
Elizabeth and I became close for a time and she even asked Tim and I if we would be willing to be the guardians for her little girls if anything happened to her and her husband. There was no one in their families that they felt comfortable leaving their girls with. We spent a lot of time in prayer about the responsibility of raising these two extrordinary little girls and felt that God was leading us to say yes. We spent many Thursdays together at the hospital and for lunch afterwards. Our kids made fast friends with each other and as they grew started to look forward to playgroup as much as we Mommies. We sometimes met in between times so the kids could “play”. Time flew and after about 4 ½ years we all started to miss this time or that time. I was'nt even nursing anymore and I traveled an hour to go to “play”. So slowly we stopped attending playgroup. We did still get together for the kids birthdays or to swim in the summer but we didn’t see each other very much. Our busy lives and growing children started to take over.
In January of 2005 I found out that I was “miraculously” pregnant. I my entire life I had NEVER gotten pregnant easily. We had always needed assistance from doctors, but here I was pregnant. After the shock wore off I prepared myself for the pregnancy. You see when I am pregnant I don’t “do it” well. At about 4 weeks along I start to get extreme hyperemesis, that means that I throw up continually....... morning till night. Nothing seems to help and believe me I tried everything. For the next 4 months I keep a handy dandy IV backpack plugged in so that I don’t dehydrate. I get new IV”s inserted every several days and I still puke several times a day. So I buckle my seat belt and get ready for baby number 5. In our house pink or blue is always the burning question. I literally can’t sleep some nights wondering. This time was no different, but I was hoping not so secretly that this time after two boys that we would have a little girl. I prayed “pink”.
Well, that is the beginning of this story and journey in our life, come back later for more...................
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Don't get up yet...........................
Back down on your knees friends................ Little Kayleigh is having big scary problems. Today there seems to have been a deadly change in Kayleigh. Here brain activity has been interupted. Her prognosis is grave......... I can't seem to type the words that the medical professionals are using. If you haven't been following along please click on the side bar and go read up about the amazing little girl and her family.......... She is so small and has so much to do before she is done. She is 10 months old and has yet to breath in the air outside a hospital....
Please pray............
Please pray............
Orange you going to pray?........................
At our house we have a family that is our friend....... Well a bloggy friend family. Not only me but also my boys have been praying for a sweet little baby named Stellan long before he was born......They have never met him or talked to him but they also care deeply about this little guy. Told he wouldn't live by the medical profession, we all prayed and waited. Then God the "Great Physcian" decided that Stellan had work to do for on this earth. Once again the roller coaster is starting for this sweet little boy and his family. He is having surgery today to repair his little heart, the one thing we all know is that God is in control and he knows the outcome of this storm.
Even in the storm we praise God's awesome name..........
Will you pray too..................
Wearing orange for Stellan............
Even in the storm we praise God's awesome name..........
Will you pray too..................
Wearing orange for Stellan............
Monday, April 20, 2009
Drum roll please.......................
I bet you didn't think it would take so long to give the answer to the "Any Idea Why?" post. Well it has been a bit crazy and if your a Face Book "person" then you may have also been "bit" by the bug. FARM TOWN....... I never thought of myself as Obsessive Compulsive BUT..... I had never met Farm Town. This little fun application game has taken over our free time. "Our??" you ask???? Well it seem that the boys have been bitten as well. Even so far as to wake me in the wee hours of morning only to ask "Can we play Farm Town?"
If by some miracle you have escaped Farm Town but are interested just let me know and you can play too. But beware..... this game may be injurious to your free time (waking mmoments).
And now for the explanation of the picture...............
it seems my sweet little girl is yet a first. None of the kids have EVER climed ON the table but she seems to think it is a stage and she should dance...... with no regard for the sides it really isn't a good idea. If I am not in the room I hear "uh-oh" "help" and she is ratted out by this guy. And BTW, I will have to give my little daredevil the idea that this could be a boat! I don't think that I have a imaginative bone in my body, never would have come up with that.
I knew God would show me a reason I had this charming but MESSY bird!
So remember ....... if YOU want an addiction and to play Farm Town just let me know. We could be neighbors.......
If by some miracle you have escaped Farm Town but are interested just let me know and you can play too. But beware..... this game may be injurious to your free time (waking mmoments).
And now for the explanation of the picture...............
it seems my sweet little girl is yet a first. None of the kids have EVER climed ON the table but she seems to think it is a stage and she should dance...... with no regard for the sides it really isn't a good idea. If I am not in the room I hear "uh-oh" "help" and she is ratted out by this guy. And BTW, I will have to give my little daredevil the idea that this could be a boat! I don't think that I have a imaginative bone in my body, never would have come up with that.
I knew God would show me a reason I had this charming but MESSY bird!
So remember ....... if YOU want an addiction and to play Farm Town just let me know. We could be neighbors.......
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Boy, am I in a funk????
I'm not sure but I think I may be in a funk. Either that or the meds for the sinus infection are just dulling my otherwise witty sense of humor........ Maybe its the endless chocolate eggs I have ingested...... or the peeps that are drying on the counter (they are SO much better when they are VERY stale). Or the potato chips.... yikes! I don't eat those those!?!? do I. Well the answer is yes I do if my dear hubby brings them within a mile of the house.
I try to eat well, really I do. Most of the time we don't have the OTHER stuff in the house but holidays can bring out the worst in my eating habits. This year the bunny only brought 2 bags of candy and 2 boxes of peeps for the 5 kids. How is it that the candy has quadrupled!?!?
We had such a nice time at my parents house on Easter. With the distance that we all live apart it is truly a blessing. We all got to catch up and the kids were non-stop playing the entire time. Courtney and my niece Lauren didn't get to come, they were surly missed.
Don't forget to brush brush brush so the cavity bug doesn't get you after all that Easter candy!
How about you, how did you celebrate???
And the BIG questions.......... real or plastic eggs????
I try to eat well, really I do. Most of the time we don't have the OTHER stuff in the house but holidays can bring out the worst in my eating habits. This year the bunny only brought 2 bags of candy and 2 boxes of peeps for the 5 kids. How is it that the candy has quadrupled!?!?
We had such a nice time at my parents house on Easter. With the distance that we all live apart it is truly a blessing. We all got to catch up and the kids were non-stop playing the entire time. Courtney and my niece Lauren didn't get to come, they were surly missed.
Don't forget to brush brush brush so the cavity bug doesn't get you after all that Easter candy!
How about you, how did you celebrate???
And the BIG questions.......... real or plastic eggs????
Friday, April 10, 2009
Good Friday...................
I can't think of a better way to put it....... today was a GOOD day. I went to see Dr. W this afternoon. I hopped in the car with my armour on, my armour of song I had the radio turned up and full of praise songs, I sang in my own American Idol fashion. I do LOVE praise and worship music! The drive is a short one, the route is so pretty. Spring is in bloom, the flowers dotted the countryside.
Dr W. is just the kind of Doctor that makes you feel comfortable. Old time with the office that goes with it. He is kind and he really listens. Anything that is not the "norm" he sends you off to a specialist. His wife and daughter are his office staff, his adorable 3 yr old grand-daughter is usually somewhere in the office.
As soon as I got into the office they quickly got me in a room. I had just enough time to get into my lovely one-size-fits-all (eyes rolling) gown. When Dr. W came in he sat for a moment and he asked me to explain what I felt and when I noticed it. The next few minutes I just prayed to be prepared to accept any outcome... any outcome, not just the one that I wanted.
Very quickly Dr. W felt and looked at the "bump" and told his suspicion that this "bump" was NOT Cancer. More likely a cluster of tissue and ducts that bind together causing a "bump" near the surface of the breast. He did give it a medical name.... but seriously at that point I was praising God for giving me more time here. A little more time to lead my children, teach them, love them. Hopefully my life can be a reflection of the love of God. I pray that we are leading our kids by an example pleasing to God. He wastes nothing and I want my life to be for His glory.
Oh and as I sat back up Dr. W did tell me that "BTW I can tell you one postive today"..... my response, What?!!? "You definately have a sinus infection!" Hey, today I'll happily take it, you see I was trying to ignore that too.
So Dr W made special arrangements for me to go get the big squeeze.... every one's favorite the mammogram. The offices were closing early but they arranged for me to go in so we didn't have to wait the weekend. I took a few little friends with me Logan, Taylor, and Kendall, What is that you say?? You have never taken 3 children between the ages of 1 1/2 and 8 with you to a Mammogram?!?!? Hmmmm sounded like great family fun... er well, actually like many times I had no sitter so my sidekicks came along.
All went well and they also confirmed the results that Dr. W gave me. Praise GOD! The kids behaved very well, I think the constant rules repeated over and over and over all the way there actually sunk in. That and the warning that there would be NO Wii play if there were ANY behavior issues. The kids actually made the trip more fun today, they gave me a focus and instant relief when I got the news. I look at them a bit differently tonight, with more appreciation, even for the "bad" stuff. You know, squabbles, dirt, messes, dirt.... did I say dirt?? Their pleas of will you come play instead of working are handled different. At least for a little while. with all prayerful intention a long time. Thank God for a clean mammogram and a clean attitude.
On this Good Friday I have so much to be thankful for..... I feel so sad for the parent so long ago who watched as their only son was tortured, beaten, mocked, spit upon, and was hung on a cross to die. All for the sins of a lost world....... God ultimately knew that Jesus would live, he would rise from the dead......the result of his suffering??.... Everlasting life for all us sinners, any and all who ask.
I have to tell you Spring has always been a favorite of mine, to me it symbolizes the resurrection... winter with all its beauty is a bit like a bleak cold death that always gives way to a beautiful rebirth.
Enjoy a few tastes of life that I found on my way to Dr W today...............
daffodils, my spring favorite
all kids favorite a dandelion
a peony bush
A lilac bush just leafing
a cocoon....... do you see it? We are excitedly waiting for the Butterfly that will hpefully hatch right outside our bedroom window by the "Mackenzie flowers".
Thank you for your prayers, they truly mean so much to me!
Dr W. is just the kind of Doctor that makes you feel comfortable. Old time with the office that goes with it. He is kind and he really listens. Anything that is not the "norm" he sends you off to a specialist. His wife and daughter are his office staff, his adorable 3 yr old grand-daughter is usually somewhere in the office.
As soon as I got into the office they quickly got me in a room. I had just enough time to get into my lovely one-size-fits-all (eyes rolling) gown. When Dr. W came in he sat for a moment and he asked me to explain what I felt and when I noticed it. The next few minutes I just prayed to be prepared to accept any outcome... any outcome, not just the one that I wanted.
Very quickly Dr. W felt and looked at the "bump" and told his suspicion that this "bump" was NOT Cancer. More likely a cluster of tissue and ducts that bind together causing a "bump" near the surface of the breast. He did give it a medical name.... but seriously at that point I was praising God for giving me more time here. A little more time to lead my children, teach them, love them. Hopefully my life can be a reflection of the love of God. I pray that we are leading our kids by an example pleasing to God. He wastes nothing and I want my life to be for His glory.
Oh and as I sat back up Dr. W did tell me that "BTW I can tell you one postive today"..... my response, What?!!? "You definately have a sinus infection!" Hey, today I'll happily take it, you see I was trying to ignore that too.
So Dr W made special arrangements for me to go get the big squeeze.... every one's favorite the mammogram. The offices were closing early but they arranged for me to go in so we didn't have to wait the weekend. I took a few little friends with me Logan, Taylor, and Kendall, What is that you say?? You have never taken 3 children between the ages of 1 1/2 and 8 with you to a Mammogram?!?!? Hmmmm sounded like great family fun... er well, actually like many times I had no sitter so my sidekicks came along.
All went well and they also confirmed the results that Dr. W gave me. Praise GOD! The kids behaved very well, I think the constant rules repeated over and over and over all the way there actually sunk in. That and the warning that there would be NO Wii play if there were ANY behavior issues. The kids actually made the trip more fun today, they gave me a focus and instant relief when I got the news. I look at them a bit differently tonight, with more appreciation, even for the "bad" stuff. You know, squabbles, dirt, messes, dirt.... did I say dirt?? Their pleas of will you come play instead of working are handled different. At least for a little while. with all prayerful intention a long time. Thank God for a clean mammogram and a clean attitude.
On this Good Friday I have so much to be thankful for..... I feel so sad for the parent so long ago who watched as their only son was tortured, beaten, mocked, spit upon, and was hung on a cross to die. All for the sins of a lost world....... God ultimately knew that Jesus would live, he would rise from the dead......the result of his suffering??.... Everlasting life for all us sinners, any and all who ask.
I have to tell you Spring has always been a favorite of mine, to me it symbolizes the resurrection... winter with all its beauty is a bit like a bleak cold death that always gives way to a beautiful rebirth.
Enjoy a few tastes of life that I found on my way to Dr W today...............
daffodils, my spring favorite
all kids favorite a dandelion
a peony bush
A lilac bush just leafing
a cocoon....... do you see it? We are excitedly waiting for the Butterfly that will hpefully hatch right outside our bedroom window by the "Mackenzie flowers".
Thank you for your prayers, they truly mean so much to me!
Thursday, April 9, 2009
So......... well trying for peace today.......
Not many words tonight......... it was supposed to be Apha Bitty but instead of coming up with witty "G", I decided to deal with an issue in my life right now. Until now I have decided to "ignore" this one. My life has been full.... too full. So I decided to not notice the lump...... no not a lump...... just a bump. Just a bump, a little bump on my right breast. Nothing to worry about, right? Well that's what I told myself...... Way too many other things for me to take care of, too many calls from my kids that pulled me in different directions......
but then........... my Uncle got the call, THE CALL, the one that said we can't do anymore. If we had caught this sooner........ yikes..... How can I be there for my kids, my miracles, if I am not around.
SO, it is off the the Dr. tomorrow...... the call seemed awful to make. I almost cried when she asked "What do you need to be seen for?" Oh I have this little lump, no bump. I hate the word LUMP, it sounds so scary and final.....
Since the call there has been peace...... I know this is all part of the journey in my life, the one God has in store for me.......... Praising God here in Ohio, praising Him for every drop of rain......
There are so many people right now that need prayers, families that have huge holes from the loss of little ones, or little ones that are not healthy, my issue is small in comparison.......
but then........... my Uncle got the call, THE CALL, the one that said we can't do anymore. If we had caught this sooner........ yikes..... How can I be there for my kids, my miracles, if I am not around.
SO, it is off the the Dr. tomorrow...... the call seemed awful to make. I almost cried when she asked "What do you need to be seen for?" Oh I have this little lump, no bump. I hate the word LUMP, it sounds so scary and final.....
Since the call there has been peace...... I know this is all part of the journey in my life, the one God has in store for me.......... Praising God here in Ohio, praising Him for every drop of rain......
There are so many people right now that need prayers, families that have huge holes from the loss of little ones, or little ones that are not healthy, my issue is small in comparison.......
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Monday, April 6, 2009
Okay okay, stop the ride........ I want off!
It seems lately that when it rains it pours...... So many things that could go wrong did. I am not a complainer by nature and try to take life in stride but goodness, I am getting exhausted trying to maintain and get through the day. Here is our short list of the last couple weeks.
a bit of a kerfluffal with Tiffany's tax return that needed the accountant to walk us through....
the whole family sickness, no need to say more about that one........
my uncle was told that his cancer is not responding and his only hope is to go through some experimental treatments. This is my Dad's only brother and now Dad is really having a rough time too.
Tiffany's struggle with the college she attended and consequent battle to hold on to the good work she accomplished.
Financial issues that seem to be plaguing us.
Stresses at work with Tim also the stress of the final inspection of our addition.
So many stresses and heartbreaks from my bloggy friends.
Tiffany started to feel sick with bouts of pain.
Yesterday I once again fell SICK! ... you have got to be kidding!?!
Then today I decided that, once again I just couldn't go to church. I seem to be a walking germ right now. So Tim took the boys and off they went. He declined taking Kendall along, slight bummer.... I really wanted to just veg...... Then about 25 min later Tiffany came down complaining of belly pain. I continued to do regular morning stuff and get Kendall breakfast. About 15 min later she screamed from upstairs and thought she was dying...... she is a bit of a drama queen but this seemed real. So I told her she needed to decide if we went to the ER or not. Within 5 min she had decided we better go........ So sick me, Tiffany in pain, and Kendall threw some things together and ran out the door. Ooooops, Tim took the car with Kendall's car seat and stroller!! I found a seat that she could ride in a adjusted it, the fit wasn't right so we went to church and switched cars. I didn't think I could do a long ER visit without the stroller. I called and of course Tim's phone was off. SO..... I had to run in to the service looking REALLY bad and switch keys and let him know we were going in. Once we got there they put us in a room fairly quickly.
By the time they got some pain medication in Tiffany and some tests run Kendall was through with being there. We ate all the snacks and drinks so I walked her up and down the hall till she fell asleep. All the while getting looks like I was the patient and not Tiffany. Coughing and runny nose........... great I probably gave THOSE poor people germs too! They finally came and told us that Tiffany had Kidney stones and probably would be prone to them for the rest of her life. She is not a pop drinker and takes pretty good care of herself. I felt so bad for her, she was just miserable. We got discharged late in the day and headed to the pharmacy. Before we could get somewhere for something to eat.... I was starving and so tired, she had another attack! I drove her back and wondered do we go back in??? Pay another fee???? As I walked through the door Tiffany was still in the van in pain and loaded with morphine and vicadon that wasn't touching it. Miraculously our ER nurse was walking past, we talked and decided that coming back wouldn't help so once again off we went home.
I was so glad to pull in the drive. I was going to BED! well, I thought so anyway. Tim met me in the drive asking Tiffany questions about our trip and then telling me we needed to run to town to get fuses for the barn. I could have cried. I just wanted to go to bed. After about an hour I got Kendall down and got to nap.... Now I am awake miserable and can't sleep!!??!?!?!
I just need a break....... a slow week.... still not complaining, I think I am too delirious to do that.........
a bit of a kerfluffal with Tiffany's tax return that needed the accountant to walk us through....
the whole family sickness, no need to say more about that one........
my uncle was told that his cancer is not responding and his only hope is to go through some experimental treatments. This is my Dad's only brother and now Dad is really having a rough time too.
Tiffany's struggle with the college she attended and consequent battle to hold on to the good work she accomplished.
Financial issues that seem to be plaguing us.
Stresses at work with Tim also the stress of the final inspection of our addition.
So many stresses and heartbreaks from my bloggy friends.
Tiffany started to feel sick with bouts of pain.
Yesterday I once again fell SICK! ... you have got to be kidding!?!
Then today I decided that, once again I just couldn't go to church. I seem to be a walking germ right now. So Tim took the boys and off they went. He declined taking Kendall along, slight bummer.... I really wanted to just veg...... Then about 25 min later Tiffany came down complaining of belly pain. I continued to do regular morning stuff and get Kendall breakfast. About 15 min later she screamed from upstairs and thought she was dying...... she is a bit of a drama queen but this seemed real. So I told her she needed to decide if we went to the ER or not. Within 5 min she had decided we better go........ So sick me, Tiffany in pain, and Kendall threw some things together and ran out the door. Ooooops, Tim took the car with Kendall's car seat and stroller!! I found a seat that she could ride in a adjusted it, the fit wasn't right so we went to church and switched cars. I didn't think I could do a long ER visit without the stroller. I called and of course Tim's phone was off. SO..... I had to run in to the service looking REALLY bad and switch keys and let him know we were going in. Once we got there they put us in a room fairly quickly.
By the time they got some pain medication in Tiffany and some tests run Kendall was through with being there. We ate all the snacks and drinks so I walked her up and down the hall till she fell asleep. All the while getting looks like I was the patient and not Tiffany. Coughing and runny nose........... great I probably gave THOSE poor people germs too! They finally came and told us that Tiffany had Kidney stones and probably would be prone to them for the rest of her life. She is not a pop drinker and takes pretty good care of herself. I felt so bad for her, she was just miserable. We got discharged late in the day and headed to the pharmacy. Before we could get somewhere for something to eat.... I was starving and so tired, she had another attack! I drove her back and wondered do we go back in??? Pay another fee???? As I walked through the door Tiffany was still in the van in pain and loaded with morphine and vicadon that wasn't touching it. Miraculously our ER nurse was walking past, we talked and decided that coming back wouldn't help so once again off we went home.
I was so glad to pull in the drive. I was going to BED! well, I thought so anyway. Tim met me in the drive asking Tiffany questions about our trip and then telling me we needed to run to town to get fuses for the barn. I could have cried. I just wanted to go to bed. After about an hour I got Kendall down and got to nap.... Now I am awake miserable and can't sleep!!??!?!?!
I just need a break....... a slow week.... still not complaining, I think I am too delirious to do that.........
Friday, April 3, 2009
Getting creative and Alpha bitty moments
This is a first try for me on a new bloggy day of the week thing. I'm game, especially with the alphabet. I am pretty good at it you see.... so I will try to play along a bit.
How about a bit of "fist-fight" fun. These guys keep us giggling all the time.
Pop on over to Mama Bear's blog and play along.....http://thisfamilyof4.blogspot.com/
Well, today our boys decided that they wanted to get involved with Stellan's name gallery. You see, we like about a million other people,(no really, Jennifer's blog just hit 7 million today)we have been praying for little Stellan's heart to slow down and let him be the healthy little 5 month old that his Mom is praying for.
So they watch the tweets to see when there is some new information. While we were surfing we stumbled on the name gallery. This is the place that hundreds if not thousands of people have written Stellan's name is creative ways. So we started to brainstorm and many many of the ways the boys thought of were already taken.
But about 3 days ago there was a breakthrough. Only problem was we had NO sun! As you can see from the shots we needed sun.
not too shabby for 6 & 8.
Speaking about not to shabby, someone seems to have had a language explosion. At 19 months of age the words just seem to be popping out of her all the time. This is a short list just so I can remember
Mom
Dad
Tay Tay(Taylor)
Go dan (Logan)
Nee (Tiffany)
Cokey (Courtney)
nana (banana)
baby
poppy (pacifier)
cookie
bye bye
hat
bow (her favorite)
soooz (shoes)
Cosss (socks)
night night
baf (bath)
Pa (my Dad)
mama (llama)
arff (dog, and what it says)
cak cak (duck)
Mooo (cow says)
gouldy gouldy (cheerios)
bitey (bite)
catty (cat)
MoMo (Elmo, another favorite)
beaney (green beans)
uh-huh (in a singy song tune)
Nax (Max)
moe (more)
Kendall absolutely LOVES to sing and dance. She sings so loud and one of the songs sounds like the B I B L E.
One of her favorite pastimes is to play in her closet with her shoes. She also likes to feed her baby, pet the cats or dog. Feed treats to Max and Maggie.
She also likes to play with cars and trucks, sound effects and all.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Conversation with a 6 yr old.
Taylor: Hey Tiffany, I am going to play a April Fools joke on you.
Tiffany: Taylor, you can't play an April Fool's joke on my now.....
Taylor: Why not?
Tiffany: Because April Fools Day is over.
Taylor: But I didn't remember to do it on April Fools Day.....
Tiffany: Sorry, you'll have to wait until next year now.
Taylor: No, I'm going to just do it now.
Tiffany: You can't buddy, that's the rules......
Taylor Oh okay, well I got a good one for you next year.
We are preparing for a weekend of fun and excitement..... how about you?
How about a bit of "fist-fight" fun. These guys keep us giggling all the time.
Pop on over to Mama Bear's blog and play along.....http://thisfamilyof4.blogspot.com/
Well, today our boys decided that they wanted to get involved with Stellan's name gallery. You see, we like about a million other people,(no really, Jennifer's blog just hit 7 million today)we have been praying for little Stellan's heart to slow down and let him be the healthy little 5 month old that his Mom is praying for.
So they watch the tweets to see when there is some new information. While we were surfing we stumbled on the name gallery. This is the place that hundreds if not thousands of people have written Stellan's name is creative ways. So we started to brainstorm and many many of the ways the boys thought of were already taken.
But about 3 days ago there was a breakthrough. Only problem was we had NO sun! As you can see from the shots we needed sun.
not too shabby for 6 & 8.
Speaking about not to shabby, someone seems to have had a language explosion. At 19 months of age the words just seem to be popping out of her all the time. This is a short list just so I can remember
Mom
Dad
Tay Tay(Taylor)
Go dan (Logan)
Nee (Tiffany)
Cokey (Courtney)
nana (banana)
baby
poppy (pacifier)
cookie
bye bye
hat
bow (her favorite)
soooz (shoes)
Cosss (socks)
night night
baf (bath)
Pa (my Dad)
mama (llama)
arff (dog, and what it says)
cak cak (duck)
Mooo (cow says)
gouldy gouldy (cheerios)
bitey (bite)
catty (cat)
MoMo (Elmo, another favorite)
beaney (green beans)
uh-huh (in a singy song tune)
Nax (Max)
moe (more)
Kendall absolutely LOVES to sing and dance. She sings so loud and one of the songs sounds like the B I B L E.
One of her favorite pastimes is to play in her closet with her shoes. She also likes to feed her baby, pet the cats or dog. Feed treats to Max and Maggie.
She also likes to play with cars and trucks, sound effects and all.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Conversation with a 6 yr old.
Taylor: Hey Tiffany, I am going to play a April Fools joke on you.
Tiffany: Taylor, you can't play an April Fool's joke on my now.....
Taylor: Why not?
Tiffany: Because April Fools Day is over.
Taylor: But I didn't remember to do it on April Fools Day.....
Tiffany: Sorry, you'll have to wait until next year now.
Taylor: No, I'm going to just do it now.
Tiffany: You can't buddy, that's the rules......
Taylor Oh okay, well I got a good one for you next year.
We are preparing for a weekend of fun and excitement..... how about you?
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
Random Picture Challenge
Okay, so I guess I need to play, I have stalked for awhile now check out this blog and have some fun...........
While I wait to go for a uncomfortable talk I need a little light fun.....join in if you dare..... enjoy those archived pictures.
27th folder
or December 2007
27th picture
One of the things around here that usually makes me smile!
Keep those prayers going...........
While I wait to go for a uncomfortable talk I need a little light fun.....join in if you dare..... enjoy those archived pictures.
27th folder
or December 2007
27th picture
One of the things around here that usually makes me smile!
Keep those prayers going...........
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