Sunday, February 22, 2009

Mixed bag

I have spent the last couple weeks throwing myself back in time. Not an easy time, not one that I would want to miss, a turning point in my life. A time when I was rudely reminded that I needed God in a BIG way, for every decision not just the tough stuff. A testament to God's love and and his faithfullness to carry us when we can't walk alone.

One of the special women from my Bible Study lost a baby to miscarriage. A baby longed for and prayed for. This exceptional woman is one of the many in the not-so-exclusive group of women who live a life of infertility. She has such a beautiful heart and love for Jesus. Her animated style has impacted so many people and children in particular. She has longed to be a Mother all her life and has struggled to make that dream come true. She has a wonderful little boy that is the light of her life. She thought like so many of us that she was being blessed with a miracle. She let herself believe that God was giving her a blessing and then in the blink of an eye at a bit over 7 weeks her tiny baby was gone. Now she is picking up the pieces and trying to make sense of what has happened while she grieves a dream.

I am grieving her loss right along with her........... do I feel pity? No, I feel her pain, her loss. The loss of a dream that was never in God's master plan. I know that she will be blessed, I just am not sure how. I wish she could fast forward through this pain....... but I know that there is purpose in this pain and she needs to experience it.

Just when I felt that life might really be in the pits I got a phone call from another exceptional woman. This woman has been in my life long enough for her to be a daughter. She has been there for us and with us for a long time. She called to tell me that she is expecting a baby, a gift from God and I was so excited. I am so excited for her. So excited that she is going on this journey. Her life is going to change in BIG way and I can't wait. I can remember back to when I found out the first time that I had gotten pregnant. How excited I was and that bit of fear in the pit of my stomach. Could I raise a human??? Hmmmmm and give birth to one... Yikes! It has been a journey that although I do very poorly in the puke department, I have done 5 times and treasure each trip. This baby is going to be a lucky little one to have such grounded and well-rooted parents.

My prayers go to this special family in the making for a wonderful healthy pregnancy, easy birth, and fabulous lifestyle change. God Bless!

1 comment:

Beans said...

I myself just recently suffered a miscarriage, and your words about this woman echo so strongly how I felt. It's touching to see that you care so much that you can truly sympathize with her, and the best thing you can do for her is to just be there and listen when she questions everything around her, which it sounds like you are doing anyway. Best of luck...