Mixed bag

I have spent the last couple weeks throwing myself back in time. Not an easy time, not one that I would want to miss, a turning point in my life. A time when I was rudely reminded that I needed God in a BIG way, for every decision not just the tough stuff. A testament to God's love and and his faithfullness to carry us when we can't walk alone.

One of the special women from my Bible Study lost a baby to miscarriage. A baby longed for and prayed for. This exceptional woman is one of the many in the not-so-exclusive group of women who live a life of infertility. She has such a beautiful heart and love for Jesus. Her animated style has impacted so many people and children in particular. She has longed to be a Mother all her life and has struggled to make that dream come true. She has a wonderful little boy that is the light of her life. She thought like so many of us that she was being blessed with a miracle. She let herself believe that God was giving her a blessing and then in the blink of an eye at a bit over 7 weeks her tiny baby was gone. Now she is picking up the pieces and trying to make sense of what has happened while she grieves a dream.

I am grieving her loss right along with her........... do I feel pity? No, I feel her pain, her loss. The loss of a dream that was never in God's master plan. I know that she will be blessed, I just am not sure how. I wish she could fast forward through this pain....... but I know that there is purpose in this pain and she needs to experience it.

Just when I felt that life might really be in the pits I got a phone call from another exceptional woman. This woman has been in my life long enough for her to be a daughter. She has been there for us and with us for a long time. She called to tell me that she is expecting a baby, a gift from God and I was so excited. I am so excited for her. So excited that she is going on this journey. Her life is going to change in BIG way and I can't wait. I can remember back to when I found out the first time that I had gotten pregnant. How excited I was and that bit of fear in the pit of my stomach. Could I raise a human??? Hmmmmm and give birth to one... Yikes! It has been a journey that although I do very poorly in the puke department, I have done 5 times and treasure each trip. This baby is going to be a lucky little one to have such grounded and well-rooted parents.

My prayers go to this special family in the making for a wonderful healthy pregnancy, easy birth, and fabulous lifestyle change. God Bless!