A little bit of history.............

Yesterday I sat down with Kendall in her beautiful girly room. As I sat there holding this perfect little girl I once again said a prayer. I say a prayer of thanksgiving for this little girl everyday. Don’t get me wrong I am so thankful for all my babies. They were all long fought for, prayed for, and literally begged for. I have been blessed with a life of infertility, something that I did'nt learn to be thankful for till just recently. Anyone who has traveled this path knows the prayers and the tears shed. Our last miracle baby Kendall holds an even more special place in my heart. Someday I want to be able to tell her how special she is to us.

Kendall’s journey is such a miracle and it unfolded without us even knowing for a long time....

In September of 2000 I had just given birth to my first son, I was over the moon and thrilled with this little man. We brought him home and I immediately realized that we had some issues with his breast feeding. I have breast fed both of the older girls with no issue but things just did'nt feel right. I couldn’t put my finger on what the issue was. I called the lactation consultant and told them that we were having some trouble and more pain than necessary. I set an appointment and went in. They helped me out and then I ended up going back three times. He was a stinker about latching, so they worked with us a lot! While there they told me about a program... a playgroup of sorts for babies but in real life for the Mommies of the babies. We would go to the hospital and meet every other Tuesday and Thursday. We started to attend and really enjoyed it. There was a group of Moms that continued to attend the playgroup through our second pregnancies. One of the Moms in the group was Elizabeth. Elizabeth had her baby girl Merlin 6 days before I had Logan. We became good friends and I even was in the room with her when she delivered her next daughter Piper.

Elizabeth and I became close for a time and she even asked Tim and I if we would be willing to be the guardians for her little girls if anything happened to her and her husband. There was no one in their families that they felt comfortable leaving their girls with. We spent a lot of time in prayer about the responsibility of raising these two extrordinary little girls and felt that God was leading us to say yes. We spent many Thursdays together at the hospital and for lunch afterwards. Our kids made fast friends with each other and as they grew started to look forward to playgroup as much as we Mommies. We sometimes met in between times so the kids could “play”. Time flew and after about 4 ½ years we all started to miss this time or that time. I was'nt even nursing anymore and I traveled an hour to go to “play”. So slowly we stopped attending playgroup. We did still get together for the kids birthdays or to swim in the summer but we didn’t see each other very much. Our busy lives and growing children started to take over.

In January of 2005 I found out that I was “miraculously” pregnant. I my entire life I had NEVER gotten pregnant easily. We had always needed assistance from doctors, but here I was pregnant. After the shock wore off I prepared myself for the pregnancy. You see when I am pregnant I don’t “do it” well. At about 4 weeks along I start to get extreme hyperemesis, that means that I throw up continually....... morning till night. Nothing seems to help and believe me I tried everything. For the next 4 months I keep a handy dandy IV backpack plugged in so that I don’t dehydrate. I get new IV”s inserted every several days and I still puke several times a day. So I buckle my seat belt and get ready for baby number 5. In our house pink or blue is always the burning question. I literally can’t sleep some nights wondering. This time was no different, but I was hoping not so secretly that this time after two boys that we would have a little girl. I prayed “pink”.

Well, that is the beginning of this story and journey in our life, come back later for more...................

Don't get up yet...........................

Back down on your knees friends................ Little Kayleigh is having big scary problems. Today there seems to have been a deadly change in Kayleigh. Here brain activity has been interupted. Her prognosis is grave......... I can't seem to type the words that the medical professionals are using. If you haven't been following along please click on the side bar and go read up about the amazing little girl and her family.......... She is so small and has so much to do before she is done. She is 10 months old and has yet to breath in the air outside a hospital....

Please pray............

Orange you going to pray?........................

At our house we have a family that is our friend....... Well a bloggy friend family. Not only me but also my boys have been praying for a sweet little baby named Stellan long before he was born......They have never met him or talked to him but they also care deeply about this little guy. Told he wouldn't live by the medical profession, we all prayed and waited. Then God the "Great Physcian" decided that Stellan had work to do for on this earth. Once again the roller coaster is starting for this sweet little boy and his family. He is having surgery today to repair his little heart, the one thing we all know is that God is in control and he knows the outcome of this storm.

Even in the storm we praise God's awesome name..........

Will you pray too..................

Wearing orange for Stellan............

Drum roll please.......................

I bet you didn't think it would take so long to give the answer to the "Any Idea Why?" post. Well it has been a bit crazy and if your a Face Book "person" then you may have also been "bit" by the bug. FARM TOWN....... I never thought of myself as Obsessive Compulsive BUT..... I had never met Farm Town. This little fun application game has taken over our free time. "Our??" you ask???? Well it seem that the boys have been bitten as well. Even so far as to wake me in the wee hours of morning only to ask "Can we play Farm Town?"

If by some miracle you have escaped Farm Town but are interested just let me know and you can play too. But beware..... this game may be injurious to your free time (waking mmoments).

And now for the explanation of the picture...............



it seems my sweet little girl is yet a first. None of the kids have EVER climed ON the table but she seems to think it is a stage and she should dance...... with no regard for the sides it really isn't a good idea. If I am not in the room I hear "uh-oh" "help" and she is ratted out by this guy. And BTW, I will have to give my little daredevil the idea that this could be a boat! I don't think that I have a imaginative bone in my body, never would have come up with that.



I knew God would show me a reason I had this charming but MESSY bird!

So remember ....... if YOU want an addiction and to play Farm Town just let me know. We could be neighbors.......

any ideas why?

Boy, am I in a funk????

I'm not sure but I think I may be in a funk. Either that or the meds for the sinus infection are just dulling my otherwise witty sense of humor........ Maybe its the endless chocolate eggs I have ingested...... or the peeps that are drying on the counter (they are SO much better when they are VERY stale). Or the potato chips.... yikes! I don't eat those those!?!? do I. Well the answer is yes I do if my dear hubby brings them within a mile of the house.

I try to eat well, really I do. Most of the time we don't have the OTHER stuff in the house but holidays can bring out the worst in my eating habits. This year the bunny only brought 2 bags of candy and 2 boxes of peeps for the 5 kids. How is it that the candy has quadrupled!?!?

We had such a nice time at my parents house on Easter. With the distance that we all live apart it is truly a blessing. We all got to catch up and the kids were non-stop playing the entire time. Courtney and my niece Lauren didn't get to come, they were surly missed.

Don't forget to brush brush brush so the cavity bug doesn't get you after all that Easter candy!


How about you, how did you celebrate???

And the BIG questions.......... real or plastic eggs????

Good Friday...................

I can't think of a better way to put it....... today was a GOOD day. I went to see Dr. W this afternoon. I hopped in the car with my armour on, my armour of song I had the radio turned up and full of praise songs, I sang in my own American Idol fashion. I do LOVE praise and worship music! The drive is a short one, the route is so pretty. Spring is in bloom, the flowers dotted the countryside.

Dr W. is just the kind of Doctor that makes you feel comfortable. Old time with the office that goes with it. He is kind and he really listens. Anything that is not the "norm" he sends you off to a specialist. His wife and daughter are his office staff, his adorable 3 yr old grand-daughter is usually somewhere in the office.

As soon as I got into the office they quickly got me in a room. I had just enough time to get into my lovely one-size-fits-all (eyes rolling) gown. When Dr. W came in he sat for a moment and he asked me to explain what I felt and when I noticed it. The next few minutes I just prayed to be prepared to accept any outcome... any outcome, not just the one that I wanted.

Very quickly Dr. W felt and looked at the "bump" and told his suspicion that this "bump" was NOT Cancer. More likely a cluster of tissue and ducts that bind together causing a "bump" near the surface of the breast. He did give it a medical name.... but seriously at that point I was praising God for giving me more time here. A little more time to lead my children, teach them, love them. Hopefully my life can be a reflection of the love of God. I pray that we are leading our kids by an example pleasing to God. He wastes nothing and I want my life to be for His glory.

Oh and as I sat back up Dr. W did tell me that "BTW I can tell you one postive today"..... my response, What?!!? "You definately have a sinus infection!" Hey, today I'll happily take it, you see I was trying to ignore that too.

So Dr W made special arrangements for me to go get the big squeeze.... every one's favorite the mammogram. The offices were closing early but they arranged for me to go in so we didn't have to wait the weekend. I took a few little friends with me Logan, Taylor, and Kendall, What is that you say?? You have never taken 3 children between the ages of 1 1/2 and 8 with you to a Mammogram?!?!? Hmmmm sounded like great family fun... er well, actually like many times I had no sitter so my sidekicks came along.

All went well and they also confirmed the results that Dr. W gave me. Praise GOD! The kids behaved very well, I think the constant rules repeated over and over and over all the way there actually sunk in. That and the warning that there would be NO Wii play if there were ANY behavior issues. The kids actually made the trip more fun today, they gave me a focus and instant relief when I got the news. I look at them a bit differently tonight, with more appreciation, even for the "bad" stuff. You know, squabbles, dirt, messes, dirt.... did I say dirt?? Their pleas of will you come play instead of working are handled different. At least for a little while. with all prayerful intention a long time. Thank God for a clean mammogram and a clean attitude.

On this Good Friday I have so much to be thankful for..... I feel so sad for the parent so long ago who watched as their only son was tortured, beaten, mocked, spit upon, and was hung on a cross to die. All for the sins of a lost world....... God ultimately knew that Jesus would live, he would rise from the dead......the result of his suffering??.... Everlasting life for all us sinners, any and all who ask.

I have to tell you Spring has always been a favorite of mine, to me it symbolizes the resurrection... winter with all its beauty is a bit like a bleak cold death that always gives way to a beautiful rebirth.

Enjoy a few tastes of life that I found on my way to Dr W today...............

daffodils, my spring favorite

all kids favorite a dandelion

a peony bush

A lilac bush just leafing

a cocoon....... do you see it? We are excitedly waiting for the Butterfly that will hpefully hatch right outside our bedroom window by the "Mackenzie flowers".


Thank you for your prayers, they truly mean so much to me!

So......... well trying for peace today.......

Not many words tonight......... it was supposed to be Apha Bitty but instead of coming up with witty "G", I decided to deal with an issue in my life right now. Until now I have decided to "ignore" this one. My life has been full.... too full. So I decided to not notice the lump...... no not a lump...... just a bump. Just a bump, a little bump on my right breast. Nothing to worry about, right? Well that's what I told myself...... Way too many other things for me to take care of, too many calls from my kids that pulled me in different directions......

but then........... my Uncle got the call, THE CALL, the one that said we can't do anymore. If we had caught this sooner........ yikes..... How can I be there for my kids, my miracles, if I am not around.

SO, it is off the the Dr. tomorrow...... the call seemed awful to make. I almost cried when she asked "What do you need to be seen for?" Oh I have this little lump, no bump. I hate the word LUMP, it sounds so scary and final.....

Since the call there has been peace...... I know this is all part of the journey in my life, the one God has in store for me.......... Praising God here in Ohio, praising Him for every drop of rain......

There are so many people right now that need prayers, families that have huge holes from the loss of little ones, or little ones that are not healthy, my issue is small in comparison.......

Wordless Wednesday............ Wow you look pink!

Okay okay, stop the ride........ I want off!

It seems lately that when it rains it pours...... So many things that could go wrong did. I am not a complainer by nature and try to take life in stride but goodness, I am getting exhausted trying to maintain and get through the day. Here is our short list of the last couple weeks.

a bit of a kerfluffal with Tiffany's tax return that needed the accountant to walk us through....
the whole family sickness, no need to say more about that one........
my uncle was told that his cancer is not responding and his only hope is to go through some experimental treatments. This is my Dad's only brother and now Dad is really having a rough time too.
Tiffany's struggle with the college she attended and consequent battle to hold on to the good work she accomplished.
Financial issues that seem to be plaguing us.
Stresses at work with Tim also the stress of the final inspection of our addition.
So many stresses and heartbreaks from my bloggy friends.
Tiffany started to feel sick with bouts of pain.
Yesterday I once again fell SICK! ... you have got to be kidding!?!

Then today I decided that, once again I just couldn't go to church. I seem to be a walking germ right now. So Tim took the boys and off they went. He declined taking Kendall along, slight bummer.... I really wanted to just veg...... Then about 25 min later Tiffany came down complaining of belly pain. I continued to do regular morning stuff and get Kendall breakfast. About 15 min later she screamed from upstairs and thought she was dying...... she is a bit of a drama queen but this seemed real. So I told her she needed to decide if we went to the ER or not. Within 5 min she had decided we better go........ So sick me, Tiffany in pain, and Kendall threw some things together and ran out the door. Ooooops, Tim took the car with Kendall's car seat and stroller!! I found a seat that she could ride in a adjusted it, the fit wasn't right so we went to church and switched cars. I didn't think I could do a long ER visit without the stroller. I called and of course Tim's phone was off. SO..... I had to run in to the service looking REALLY bad and switch keys and let him know we were going in. Once we got there they put us in a room fairly quickly.

By the time they got some pain medication in Tiffany and some tests run Kendall was through with being there. We ate all the snacks and drinks so I walked her up and down the hall till she fell asleep. All the while getting looks like I was the patient and not Tiffany. Coughing and runny nose........... great I probably gave THOSE poor people germs too! They finally came and told us that Tiffany had Kidney stones and probably would be prone to them for the rest of her life. She is not a pop drinker and takes pretty good care of herself. I felt so bad for her, she was just miserable. We got discharged late in the day and headed to the pharmacy. Before we could get somewhere for something to eat.... I was starving and so tired, she had another attack! I drove her back and wondered do we go back in??? Pay another fee???? As I walked through the door Tiffany was still in the van in pain and loaded with morphine and vicadon that wasn't touching it. Miraculously our ER nurse was walking past, we talked and decided that coming back wouldn't help so once again off we went home.
I was so glad to pull in the drive. I was going to BED! well, I thought so anyway. Tim met me in the drive asking Tiffany questions about our trip and then telling me we needed to run to town to get fuses for the barn. I could have cried. I just wanted to go to bed. After about an hour I got Kendall down and got to nap.... Now I am awake miserable and can't sleep!!??!?!?!

I just need a break....... a slow week.... still not complaining, I think I am too delirious to do that.........

Getting creative and Alpha bitty moments

This is a first try for me on a new bloggy day of the week thing. I'm game, especially with the alphabet. I am pretty good at it you see.... so I will try to play along a bit.

How about a bit of "fist-fight" fun. These guys keep us giggling all the time.

Pop on over to Mama Bear's blog and play along.....http://thisfamilyof4.blogspot.com/

Well, today our boys decided that they wanted to get involved with Stellan's name gallery. You see, we like about a million other people,(no really, Jennifer's blog just hit 7 million today)we have been praying for little Stellan's heart to slow down and let him be the healthy little 5 month old that his Mom is praying for.

So they watch the tweets to see when there is some new information. While we were surfing we stumbled on the name gallery. This is the place that hundreds if not thousands of people have written Stellan's name is creative ways. So we started to brainstorm and many many of the ways the boys thought of were already taken.

But about 3 days ago there was a breakthrough. Only problem was we had NO sun! As you can see from the shots we needed sun.







not too shabby for 6 & 8.

Speaking about not to shabby, someone seems to have had a language explosion. At 19 months of age the words just seem to be popping out of her all the time. This is a short list just so I can remember

Mom
Dad
Tay Tay(Taylor)
Go dan (Logan)
Nee (Tiffany)
Cokey (Courtney)
nana (banana)
baby
poppy (pacifier)
cookie
bye bye
hat
bow (her favorite)
soooz (shoes)
Cosss (socks)
night night
baf (bath)
Pa (my Dad)
mama (llama)
arff (dog, and what it says)
cak cak (duck)
Mooo (cow says)
gouldy gouldy (cheerios)
bitey (bite)
catty (cat)
MoMo (Elmo, another favorite)
beaney (green beans)
uh-huh (in a singy song tune)
Nax (Max)
moe (more)

Kendall absolutely LOVES to sing and dance. She sings so loud and one of the songs sounds like the B I B L E.

One of her favorite pastimes is to play in her closet with her shoes. She also likes to feed her baby, pet the cats or dog. Feed treats to Max and Maggie.

She also likes to play with cars and trucks, sound effects and all.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Conversation with a 6 yr old.

Taylor: Hey Tiffany, I am going to play a April Fools joke on you.

Tiffany: Taylor, you can't play an April Fool's joke on my now.....

Taylor: Why not?

Tiffany: Because April Fools Day is over.

Taylor: But I didn't remember to do it on April Fools Day.....

Tiffany: Sorry, you'll have to wait until next year now.

Taylor: No, I'm going to just do it now.

Tiffany: You can't buddy, that's the rules......

Taylor Oh okay, well I got a good one for you next year.




We are preparing for a weekend of fun and excitement..... how about you?