Life

Life just keeps rolling doesn't it? I wake in the morning and hit the floor running. Some days I wonder as I try to pry my eyes open what will the day bring, will it be a good day, will the kids try to drive me crazy fighting over who did what? Will I walk through my day feeling scattered or blessed. In my life I find one thing to be true. No matter what life will just keep rolling.......

There are days when I think I may explode from the sorrow I feel for too many families..... cancer, SMA, surgeries, broken hearts... their days continue to roll too. Fear, grief, and pain.... I want so much to be a help, our lives have been right there in the trenches too. When we lost our sweet baby Mackenzie I truly thought I would just roll into a ball and stay there... You see we had just slid through our days being "good" keeping ourselves inside our own little box. Not really worrying about the lives of others. When I lost her my world was upended.

You see Mackenzie was my wake up call...... she was my angel, she still is. She keeps me grounded and always carrying for others. Because of her I "happened" upon the video that introduced me to the horrors of SMA, and connected me with some awesome families that dealt with the loss of their babies too soon, and some that are fighting to rid their children of the cancer that threatens to steal their children. She has guided my path as we opened our little store and given me a heart to live outside myself.....

After being told by someone that "you give away too much" I got into my car and turned one the radio. Matthew West's My Own Little World came spilling out.... I literally cried as I drove along listening to the words of the song. God doesn't always tap you on the shoulder sometimes he hits you with a ball bat. I KNOW we are doing exactly what he wants us to. I know that I will spend each day trying to do more.

SMA has impacted my life is a crazy way. Nobody in my family has had SMA, none of my friends have children with SMA. But, I have come to respect and be inspired by the families that fight the battle everyday. The children..... oh the children, they are so incredible. They are so bright, they live in a world that restricts their movement. They need help to do most things but they are the most brilliant inspiring kids. One look into their eyes and I know I need to do more. Winter is a scary time for children that have SMA. So many germs, so many illnesses, hospitalizations and those lead to more trouble. To date just in the month of January 9 children have died......... gone. How can we all not be tossing every bit of spare change to research for a CURE!??!

Easy math tells me that SMA will knock at the door of someone I know soon. If that is so then it will knock on the door of someone you know too.... think we need to find that cure?? 1 in 40 people are carriers of the disease.

Cowabunga!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, first let me say I am doing quite the awful job of posting once a week in 2011! Gosh, You would think I could pull it together, life is so crazy and I am trying to catch it! Does that ever happen.... do you ever catch up?

In an effort to "enjoy" more and not allow time to slip away we have set up a standing "ski" day this winter. Monday is Kendall's dance class, Tuesday is ski day and Wednesday is piano for the boys and church. Thursday, Friday, and Saturday are flex days. Enjoy the following pictures of our ski days!








For the last week we have been singing praises to God. My friend Racquel and her husband Jonathan welcomed adorable twin babies to the world! They are tiny, born by c-section at 34 weeks, these babies have been prayed and longed for by this sweet family. Sweet Noah and Lucy just might be the luckiest babies born in a long time. I have been blessed to visit them a couple times and they are so precious! When it was time to discharge Racquel they found out that the hospital has a policy that allows her to stay at the hospital in her room until the babies can be released! Great news with the wintery weather and slippery roads.

big prayers for the Stewarts and the Flemmings.... (sweet Bennett gets to come home next week!)

2011 is here!?!?!

How did that happen? Another year just slipped under the rug, a year full of activities and memories... Last night I packed up 4 of our 5 kiddos and drove them the 2+ hour drive to my parents house. You see, last night was the infamous BIG party! My parents have been hosting a kids only New Years Party for almost 30 years! 30! They invite all the grandkids and any of their friends, any of their friends. They spend the days right after Christmas until December 30th preparing for this no holds barred, no rules, night of fun! Well, atleast thats what I hear.... as an adult I am not aloud to enter and be a part of the fun.

I then hop in the car and drive 2+ hours home and get ready for our "party". Tim picks up wings for him and chinese for me. We sit and watch a movie and sometimes even fall asleep. This year we actually missed the ball drop, yep, we got engrossed in the movie and missed it totally. But you know what 2011 came anyway.....

Then today I got up hopped back in the car and drove the 2+ hours back to Mom and Dad's to have our traditional New Years lunch. We all had a great time and once again Mom and Dad outdid themselves, love love love to keep traditions!

Back in the car and head home..................... ugh! the only bad part is that darn car thing!

Saying Goodbye to 2010

Kendall with he dollhouse, she loved the dollhouse and Fancy Nancy Princess bed from Santa

The boys love their new Nintendo DS's

The girls opening Christmas gifts
Wow! Where did the year go? Every year I find myself sitting wishing I had done more.... more one on one kid specific things, before I know it my little brood is all going to to way to busy to spend time with me. Here I sit again this year, we had a great time this year. I absolutely love homeschooling the kids, I get great joy in seeing them learn and grow. The boys are growing so fast, they are becoming such big kids.

Logan is working primarily on 5th grade work with the exception of Math. In Math he is ahead of the grade and works at the 6th grade level. I'm so proud of him, this Math mind did NOT come from me! He is just a smarty. Continuing with Piano and soccer, he also added baseball this year. Logan's asthma and allergies continue to be a problem but not as bad as in the past.

Taylor, also really blossomed this year, he was able to go a group ahead in his Sunday school class. His ability at the piano just amazes me, he truly has a gift with catching on. This year Taylor also got his first pair of glasses. He looks so cute in them. He even learned that he does like to read when he likes the topic... yay! Piano and soccer were on his list of activities and this year he also thinks that he would like to join in baseball.

Our little princess is just that... a little princess. She loves all things princess! She loves tutus, and "glass" slippers, babies are fun and she loves being a girl. She potty-trained in a week after being told that she couldn't go to dance class if she pottied in her pants... if only I had tried that earlier. She is a true performer and loves to sing. This little one wakes in the morning singing and given the chance to get on stage she loves to belt out a tune for a crowd. Love her enthusiasm! She even got a taste of skiing this winter, so far she is a great part of the group and loves it!

The big girls also had big years. Courtney was accepted and started into Radiology classes and hopes to have a degree in 1 1/2 years. I hope in my heart when the time comes she heads back towards home to carry out her career. I LOVE it when she gets to come home and spend a bit of time with us. Tiffany also had a big year passing the first part of the RN coursework and getting her LPN degree. She is loving driving her new car and is still working at Lowes. I hope she gets enrolled in school and can find a job that she loves.

We learned so much this year and life is sweeter and more precious if that is possible. We became acquainted with SMA this year, a horrible killer of children. We have changed how we live our everyday lives trying to make sure we make more people aware of this disease in an effort to raise funds to find a cure so no family has to say goodbye to their children because of SMA. Our little business more than doubled in sales and we have added a lot of extra items to the store. Our hopes for 2011 include continued growth and the ability to keep caught up....lol. I LOVE the work and passion that we have put towards the fight against SMA. The families we have come to know are precious and we would do anything for them.

Tim is moving along and changed stores this summer, he is closer to home and we like that a lot. He hasn't spent as much time working on his appraisal license this year. Hopefully we will tackle that next year. We didn't spend all our free time working on the house for the first year since we lived here. We are getting there, moving along and soon we will be able to finish off the garage giving us believe it or not more needed space.

I have great hopes and prayers for our friends and family in 2011. I have a huge hole in my heart in loosing my sweet Sushi. She truly was a one in a million. I could nap with her beside me in the chair with Max 2 ft away and know she wouldn't bother him. I could tell she knew how much I loved her........ the hole is the pits and one look down our road and the tears fall over the brim of my lids...... I miss her sooo much.

Have a wonderful 2011! I hope to make better use of my blog, I want to document the crazy insane life we lead. I

Postworthy Post

I know, I know............. it's been a long time. A really long time... My life has been spinning, spinning on a small base. My homeschooling boys and Kendall keep me hopping and along with their big sisters I am truly blessed.... I mean big time flat out blessed. Then along came my awareness about SMA through our little hat business and well, life has not been the same since. I'm glad that it hasn't.... we spend time in our everyday life trying to bring awareness to this horrible genetic killer.....

But today, today I spent a great time with my kids. We got out the Santa given skis and gave them a spin. A great time was had by all and the day flew. We were having such a wonderful day, a day of laughter and smiles.

That is, it was until we topped the crest in the road by our house.... and in the brief second life once again changed.... the cogs in the wheels came to a screaming stop as I looked out and saw my 2 kittys laying in the road. DEAD...... I really hate dead.... These two were SO special to me, Casper a gorgeous long-haired black kitty had come such a long way. Traumatized by a neighbor dog when tiny, she had such a hard time trusting but she was coming along and even coming in to the edge of the sunroom. And then laying beside her in the road the most horrible shock of all. My sweet Sushi, although she was a "barn" cat she thought she was the queen. She spent most of our awake hours in a chair mostly with me sitting right beside her. A gorgeous cat she was one in a million. She never left the chair unless it was time to go out. She never minded the bird 1 1/2 ft from her. You see I think she was my angel, after Maggie died Sushi started to beg to come in and she sat right with me never trying to move around or be nosey. She was my companion when Maggie couldn't be..... my animals have been such important characters, especially after we lost Mackenzie. I could cry when I wanted and they never got tired of me talking about all things Mackenzie. I couldn't lay that burden on my family but my animals were always willing and eager to be a listening ear.

But why did they have to be taken?? I know this won't stop me in my tracks, I know this is probably part of some grand plan, (I don't think I like the plan very much at this moment). All I do know is that my chair is going to be lonely and not as warm as it was for the rest of the winter. My heart is broken and my heart just can't believe I will never see her again.

I know, I know.......... she is just a cat... they are both JUST cats. So try and tell my heart that one.

SMA what does it mean?

Today is the biggest Blog Post Party ever! Well, I wanted to be a prat of that wouldn't you? We all want to belong right? Well, for some people SMA means belonging to a group, a group of people in the fight of their lives..... a fight to save their incredibly beautiful children.

SMA (spinal muscular atrophy) is a disease you see. A disease that not enough people know about. Being a part of this group is not always fun, exciting, or where you want to be. You see these are the facts about SMA

SMA is the leading genetic killer of infants.

SMA steals these beautiful children's ability to move.

SMA robs children of the ability to cough or breathe unassisted.

SMA affects seemingly perfect babies.

SMA is an orphan disease and due to lack of future profits drug companies are not interested in spending research dollars.

1 in 40 people carry the gene for SMA!

SMA steals over 90% of its victims before they turn 1 year old.

The National Institute of Health says that SMA is the closest neuro muscular disease to treatment or a cure.

SMA does not affect the mind. These incredible children are bright and love to interact and play.

SMA is causing families to band together in a way that many families would love to.

SMA families have incredible tenacity, they will do anything to raise funds and awareness to save their children and thousands of others....

My introduction to SMA was not through one of my children but through a blog post, it was asking for votes to get funds for research. The little video clip that came with it changed my life..... Through our own loss of a child my heart was broken for these families that are given such a diagnosis. To have no choice but watch the child you love more than your own life suffer and die. I knew at that moment our little shop needed to become involved. I knew that if we all became involved and we all spoke about SMA that changes would happen and cures could be quicker. Funding for this disease should not fall on the shoulders of sweet families living in the moment with their precious children.

So, our little store www.Bebessentials.com has pledged to walk alongside families fighting this monster. We will continue to donate money, raise awareness, and celebrate the lives of these children! We hand out magnets, bracelets, and sell butterflies. Oh, these very special butterflies with incredible Gwendolyn's name on them. We created this special design as a symbol of hope. As a reminder that with funding comes a cure that will allow these children to move and jump just like a butterfly bursting out of its cocoon. These special butterflies are little pieces of art. Each one is designed with hand painted threads, hand blown beads and colors that will knock your socks off. The sale of each of those gives a 60% return to the Gwendolyn Strong Foundation for research. One of the ways we can continue to raise finds and awareness.

Watch the clip and see how it moves you!


Here is a Gwendolyn butterfly, isn't it beautiful?!?! If you would like one just go to the Bebessentials site and pick one out. Then sit down and think of a way YOU can make a difference.


You can also go to this link and vote for GSF to receive a 20K research award! Please copy and pste the link, I couldn't get it to work in link form.... Just a few clicks for research funds for SMA.
http://www.jimmiejohnsonfoundation.org/Events/Samsung-Helmet-of-Hope/Vote-Samsung-Helmet-of-Hope-For-More.aspx

How will your tapestry look in the end.....

The Weaving
My life is but a weaving, between my God and me;
I do not choose the colors, He works so steadily.
Often times He weaves in sorrow, and I, in foolish pride,
forget He sees the upper, and the underside.

Not till the loom is silent, and shuttles cease to fly,
will God unroll the canvas and explain the reasons why.

The dark threads are as needful in the skillful Weaver's hand,
as threads of gold and silver in the pattern he has planned.


This is so inciteful to me, the tapestry that we sometimes see is so dark and hard. The journey painful, but then as the entire picture becomes more visable we see how necessary the painful time was for us to enjoy the beauty of the complete picture.....